Harry Potter Headcanons

Sfw - Lucius and Severus

- Proper, and probably not very into PDA.

- I hope you like tea :) (That is a warning)

- You will be so spoiled. (Literally Lucius has a muster of pet albino peacocks, and you think you won't be spoiled???)

- Sitting on the study as they both read, draped elegantly on the couch on either side of you.

- Cuddling at night, though neither would ever admit to it.

- Falling apart whenever they see you with a baby/kid but pretending not to.

- Both struggle to talk about their feelings and both suffer from toxic masculinity so, when your relationship is stoll first beginning they will get angry at you for pressing and will be the source of many of your arguments.

- Please they will bicker like an old married couple

- The both of them are very possessive, and outside of the house they like to see you wearing jewelry or clothing that they bought for you, using accessories they gifted you.

- Just a die comment, if you are enjoying this, you have Daddy Issues. And they know it. And will tease you about it. Endlessly.

- That's something else I will warn you about. They will tease you endlessly about literally anything. They just like to see you get all red in the face from being frustrated, stuttering over your words as you try to come up with a comeback or some sort of defense.

- They will not outright jinx you or play pranks on you but they will do little things, like scoot your coffee a few inches away every few minutes, or pull something out of your reach when you go to take it from them.

- If you are shorter than them (which is not hard, Severus is 6' 1" and Lucius is 5' 11" (Which Severus will never let Lucius live down)) they will love to comment on your height and tease you about it, and just think it's the cutest thing when you need their help to reach something.

- If you are the same height as them, be warned because they will use excessive eye contact and staring to fluster you, since they can't use their height.

- If you are taller than them, you are part giant and therefore have no chance with them because Lucius is a blood purist.

- I think they would both be secretly very passionate about their relationships. They are both the masters of coming off as aloof, being Slytherins AND Death Eaters, but they love you and each other to the ends of the earth and would readily fight for your honor or die trying.

- And if you ever fight for your own honor? Defending yourself, with spells or witty remarks, they will be so proud of you and brag about you to their friends. (Does Severus have friends?) The story of how badass you are will become a common storytelling at Lucius' grand parties.