In love with my husband

Opening Up

I didn't go to college and never had the regret of not going either. This may sound dumb to many independent women of today, but back in my day, women going to college was rare anyway. And besides, people were desperate to get rid of me, I couldn't just rebel saying I wanted to do something in my life.

But as I sat here, watching Avishek, Ruchika and Vikram reminiscing, I felt a pang of loss. Loss of what my life would have been if I had gone to college. Loss of what I didn't get to do. Loss of memories I never got to make.

"Man, that professor was a pain in the ass. Every dreaded his class" Vikram complained.

"Not everyone. I liked his class." Ruchika defended.

"Please, that's because you were his favorite." Vikram retorted.

This went on for some time. During this, Avishek had no input. He just sat there, smiling at their bickering. These 3 seemed like best of friends. The popular gang, everyone knew. Maybe they'd still be together like this if it weren't for me.

"You know Seema, these 2 were the trouble-makers of college. I can't count the number of times they got in trouble." Ruchika's voice pulled me out of my depressing thoughts.

"Really?" I looked at Avishek surprised.

"Your husband was the biggest troublemaker. He pranked everyone, even teachers. Even though they got in trouble, teachers had soft corner for them. They got scolded, that's it." Ruchika said, smiling.

I never would have known that. But then again, what did I know of him?

"Enough of college, let's eat" Avishek cut in.

During dinner, I had very less to talk. I listened to their memories, Ruchika and Vikram fighting, Avishek laughing and very briefly, mourned for the memories I never got to make.

Avishek and I were alone in the car while coming back home. Vikram and Ruchika came in his car. It was unnecessary as we 3 were going to same place but they shooed us saying they wanted to catch up more.

As always, it was quiet. That's why I was surprised when Avishek spoke all of a sudden.

"Did you have fun today?"

I whipped my head towards him so fast, I thought it would detach from my neck.

"Um, yeah." I replied, slowly, still not registering that we were making small talk.

"Ruchika is a difficult shopper, isn't she?" he said.

"Yeah, she is." I said laughing.

"I know, you don't like going out much, but thank you, for today." he said quietly.

"It's all right. I had fun too." I replied. "She is a good person." I added.

He just wanted to thank me for giving her company, not because he wanted to talk to me. I was disappointed, I don't know why.

"I saw you two were close in my office." He said after a long silence.

I looked at him confused.

"Is that wrong?" I asked.

"No, no. Why would it be wrong." He rushed out, "it's just, strange I guess." He added the last part quietly.

"Yeah, I guess" I agreed honestly. Because it was.

I hesitated, I wanted to tell him my honest thoughts, but it was weird sharing to him. After few moments of hesitation, I finally decided to talk. After all, why not make the best of opportunity.

"If she had asked me yesterday, to go shopping, I would definitely feel strange and we wouldn't be close for sure." I started.

"What changed?" he asked looking at me.

"Yesterday, when you told her to make things up with her husband, I was surprised. I thought she came here because she wanted to divorce her husband." I said, hoping he would read between the lines.

I looked at him to see him frowning, then as if he got what I meant, his hand tightened on the steering wheel.

"And you thought, I brought her to our house because I wanted to be with her." he said in a strained voice.

I didn't speak. I couldn't. I simply nodded and looked down at my purse in my lap.

I felt, more then saw, the stopping of the car. I looked up to see he had parked on the sideway. We hadn't reached home yet. I looked at him and saw him running his hand across his hair.

"I never talked to you about why she came here, did I?" he asked.

"No, but Ruchika had already told me. I just thought, she was tired of living like that. I thought she wanted to start fresh." I answered, looking out of the window, "with you".

"Fuck, Seema" he banged on the steering wheel. "We're married. Our children just got married. How can you even think I was going to- "he stopped mid-sentence? He took a deep breath. "Besides, in all these years, have I ever given you any reason to make you think I would cheat on you?"

"No. But Ruchika isn't anyone." I said, looking at him, "Is she?"

He stared at me, like he didn't know what to answer.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. "I knew that you knew about me and Ruchika. I knew that you knew she was the one I wanted to marry. I should have cleared everything up the first time she came home. I'm sorry." He apologized, sincerely.

"And I have no intention of being with her again. What she and I had; it was in the past. It's gone. The only reason I brought her to our house, is because before anything happened between us, she was my friend. My best friend. I just couldn't leave her alone when she was already feeling so low in her life." he added to his apology.

"I know." I said.

"What?" he looked confused.

"That's why I said, you telling Ruchika to call her husband was surprising. I was under the impression that you both wanted to be with each other." I ignored the pang of hurt I felt while saying that. "When you said that, I started thinking if I was the one thinking wrong. And today while shopping, Ruchika cleared everything up." I said, giving him a little smile.

He looked at me for some time and said, "I know we don't speak much, but I should have cleared it up. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. And I think it was good that I went shopping with her." I said making him surprised.

"It was?" he asked.

I nodded and said, "I think, I got a new friend." 

They are slowly opening up, aren't they?

Well, that's all for today. I hope you liked it. Please vote and leave a comment if you like the chapter.