In love with my husband

New Routine

I'm going to kill Ruchika. Doesn't matter if she is my only friend, I'm going to kill her. I ducked my head in embarrassment, again, when another person I met complimented and teased me for my new look. When I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time, I wanted to go back and wash my face removing all the makeup. It was scary and too much all of a sudden. I was not the kind  who dolled up for anything, so when I saw this, beautiful lady in front of the mirror, I wanted to run and hide. Avishek's reaction gave me both butterflies and disappointment. I was getting queasy because for the first time, my husband looked at me. Like, really looked at me. But disappointed because it was not the real me, he was looking at. He noticed the refined version of myself, and the attention would fade when I went back to being old, plain, boring Seema.

All night long, people complimented me, said I looked beautiful. I would be wrong if I said I didn't enjoy the attention, but it also made me want to hide and cower from people. All these years, I blended to the background, never stepped a foot outside my comfort zone, now all of a sudden, I was being praised, I was being noticed and that was scary and overwhelming.

"All okay?" Avishek's voice pulled me out of my internal monologue.

I looked at him and swallowed my words. I've always known he is a handsome man. When I first got married to him, I could not look at him because I was shy to interact with such a handsome man. Even today, after all these years, he looks good, maybe even better. He was the kind of person who aged better. His black suit fit him like a second skin, and while that action would make any other "almost 50 years old" person seem like they are trying too hard, he somehow pulled it off flawlessly. His grey hair, around his temples made his pitch-black eyes, almost, sexy. I felt my face heating up as I associated the word with my husband, but he was really a handsome man.

Why was I disappointed when he noticed me when I was doing the exact same thing? 

"Seema?" he frowned and turned to look at me.

"What?" I ask, breathless.

"Are you okay?" he asked again.

"Oh, no, I'm fine." I answer.

He looked like he didn't believe me and opened his mouth to prod more, I exclaimed, "Oh look, we're here" when I saw the entrance of our home.

I was embarrassed because, here I was, a 40 something year old woman, staring at her husband, thinking how sexy he was, and acting like a schoolgirl with her crush.

I dashed out of the car and power walked to the house. Ruchika was in the living room, watching TV and jumped out of the sofa when I entered.

"You're back! How was it?" she asked.

"It was okay. Food was nice." I shrugged my shoulders in answer.

She stared at me like an idiot.

"Right, food was great" she repeated and went back to watching TV.

Confused, I went to change into more comfortable clothes. When I came out of the bathroom refreshing myself, Avishek was in the bedroom pulling on his suit.

I hesitate before asking, "Do you want to eat something before bed?"

"No, I ate too much at the wedding." He replied, smiling sheepishly.

My smile in return was involuntary.

"I'll go ask if Ru wants to eat something." I said moving towards the door.

He looked up and frowned, "It's late. She must have eaten something already. You can go to sleep."

"But still, we already ate back there, and it would be rude to not ask her." I said, pausing my hand at the doorknob.

"It's fine Seema. Ru is a grown woman. She knows we went to a wedding and we would eat there. I know you're tired. You can sleep." He said, pulling his night clothes from the closet.

Technically, he was right, but she was our guest. I should at least ask her.

He must have sensed my hesitation and looked at me.

"Good God woman. Go and ask her. You might not be able to sleep if you don't." he said, shaking his head.

I took my chance and sprinted towards the living room. She was still watching TV.

"Hey" I said, pulling her attention.

"hey" she answered, focused on the movie.

"I'm going to sleep. Did you eat anything?" I ask her.

"Yes, of course. Good night" she said, glancing at me briefly.

Okay then. I went back to the room to see Avishek putting his clothes in the closet. He saw me coming and smirked.

"So, did she eat?" he teased me.

"She's our guest. I should at least ask her once" I defended myself.

"A guest who is my old friend, and your latest" he pointed out.

"Yes, still." I shrugged and moved towards the bed.

He shook his head but didn't say anything.

He came to the bed and said, "I bet you would find me and Vikram so rude if you knew what kind of friend we were."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused, settling inside my comforter.

"During our college days, I stayed at Vikram's house more than mine" he started, taking off his watch.

"I guess, we were close since school, so there was no awkwardness between us. And since we knew each other for such a long time, our parents also came to know one another." he settled on his side of bed. "I think we both knew what was in each other's house like it was our own. We never needed to play host for each other."

"Really? How come he doesn't come here more often?" I ask.

"We grew up. We both got married, started office, had more responsibilities" he answered.

"Do you miss it? Those carefree moments?" I ask sensing he was walking down the memory lane.

"Yeah, I guess. It's always fun to be free. We were young, had no idea what real life was. We were just, kids." He said softly.

I'm glad one of us has good memories of childhood.

"What about you?" he asked.

"What about me?" I played dumb.

 I knew what he was asking but I didn't want to bring down the mood.

"Do you miss your childhood? Your friends?" he asked, looking at me.

I hesitated to answer. He kept quiet, like he knew, I needed time.

"Not really, no" I said simply, not wanting to say more.

He kept looking at me, waiting for me to exaggerate.

I answered with a sigh, "I didn't really have friends in school. I was always a quiet kid. Didn't speak unless required. I was not very good at studies, wasn't in any clubs or extra activities either. I was just, there, I guess."

I looked at him to find him looking at me with strange expression, almost like pity.

"I bet you were popular." I said hastily, changing the subject.

He looked at me for a long time and allowed the sudden change of subject.

That night, as I was drifting into the sleep, I realized, for the first time, me and my husband had a conversation before bed. I slept with a smile on my face at the realization. 

I'm back. Did you miss me? Because I did, I missed you guys a lot. 

What do you think? They are slowly starting to see the hidden parts of each other, don't you think?

Anyway, that's all for today. Don't forget to vote and leave a comment if you liked the chapter.