Shrek The Third: The Would Be King & I [Book 3]

Prologue

*Narrator's POV*

One stormy evening, a handsome Prince and his horse ran as fast as they could in order to rescue a fair maiden from the highest room of the tallest tower, all while carrying his sword in one hand and holding onto the reins in the horse with the other, ready to fend off any monsters who stands in his way...

"Onward, Chauncey!" Charming yelled before pulling his sword out of its sheath. "To the highest room of the tallest tower where my Princess awaits awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Charming!"

Oh, who am I kidding?

Charming was putting on a performance at a theatre in Far, Far, Away, using a wooden horse, a fake sword, a green screen, sound effects made by gentlemen who were reluctant to help using equipment such as two halves of a coconut, a radio, a cardboard cutout of a bush and a tower, and some random actress playing the 'damsel in distress'.

He had an audience, of course, but were they enjoying his performance? Or were they bored of watching it?

Let's find out from the members of the audience themselves!

"Phew! This is worse than Love Letters. I hate dinner theatre!" Gingy yelled.

Pinocchio nodded in agreement. "Me too." All too soon, his nose started growing.

You've heard from the audience, now let's return to watching Charming's theatre performance!

"Whoa there, Chauncey!" Charming placed the wooden horse on the ground and looked up at the 'damsel in distress'.

"Hark!" The 'damsel' yelled. "The brave Prince Charming approacheth!"

"Fear not, fair maiden." Charming looked down at his fake sword and gripped it tightly before facing the audience. "I shall slay the monster that guards you, then take my place as rightful King." He posed with his sword pointed upwards and gave the audience a dashing smile (or at least, that's what he thought he was doing).

"What did she say?" An elderly woman asked.

A man dressed as Shrek stomped his way towards the stage and growled, which surprisingly earned cheers and a round of applause from the audience.

"Shrek!" A random lady yelled excitedly.

"It's Shrek!" A random gentleman shouted as he pointed to the man dressed as Shrek on stage.

"Whoo, Shrek!"

"Yeah! Ow!"

Charming gritted his teeth and pointed the fake sword at the man dressed as Shrek. "Prepare, foul beast, to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar!"

A waiter sang the 'Happy Birthday' song to a member of the audience while serving them a birthday cake with a candle on it:

🎶Happy birthday to thee
Happy birthday to thee
Happy birthday to thee
Happy birthday to thee🎶

Charming looked very unimpressed. "Do you mind?!" A prop was thrown on stage behind him and hit the cardboard tower.

"Do you mind? Boring!" Gingy yelled loud enough for everyone in the room to point and laugh at Charming.

Even the actress playing the 'damsel in distress' laughed and accidentally knocked down the fake tower that was slowly descending towards Charming, who carried on putting on a performance.

"Prepare, foul beast-" The fake tower fell to the ground with a thump, but Charming had fortunately (or unfortunately for most), had ducked down and managed to fit his body through the cut out window on the fake tower before it landed on the floor with a thud.

He stood back up and patted down his clothing to get rid of the dust. He did not look amused when he faced the audience and watched them point and laugh at him even louder.

"Someday, you'll be sorry." He threatened the audience and pointed the fake sword that was now broken at them. This didn't stop the audience from laughing.

If anything, it gave them a reason to laugh even louder.

"We already are!" A random gentleman yelled while laughing.

Charming glared at the audience before throwing the fake sword to the side and picked up the wooden horse, then marched off stage and through the back.

He pushed open the door that had his name above which one would assume is his dressing room, but is actually a door that leads to a deserted alley.

It still had a dressing table for him, a foot stall, a cracked mirror, and a photograph of his mother, Fairy Godmother, placed at the top left corner of the cracked mirror.

He took a seat on the stall and gasped before leaning his arms and head on his dressing table and sobbed unattractively. "Mummy..."

Charming stopped his sobs and stared at the photo of Fairy Godmother and nodded as if she was there comforting him. "You're right. I can't let this happen." He balled his fist in anger and gritted his teeth before looking away. "I can't!"

He stood up and took a couple of confident steps forward. "I am the rightful King of Far, Far, Away." He pointed a finger up in the air, still pretending he was talking to Fairy Godmother. "And I promise you this, mother...I will restore dignity to my throne."

A gust of wind blew a page from the kingdom's newspaper and smacked Charming in the face.

He removed the newspaper and looked down at a particular article in the middle that seemed to be the talk of the entire kingdom. "And this time, no one will stand in my way..."

And so, without further ado, let us begin the sequel to Shrek 2: Happily 'N' Ever After
[Book 2]