Kellic Song One-shots

Daylily

Warnings: subtle mentions of eating disorders and depression

{Kellin}

When I opened my eyes the first thing I noticed was his absence in my arms.

I blinked a few times and waited a bit until they adjusted to the light, then sat up slowly. The TV set was still playing the movie I picked earlier and the covers were scattered all over the couch. I ran a hand through my dark locks as I looked around our living room. I must have dozed off for at least 30 minutes, it couldn't have been more. I didn’t mean to though, this couch just tends to make anyone drowsy. But where did he go?

I picked the remote from the coffee table and turned the device off. I had a feeling today was different for him. For one, he had agreed to watch a movie with me which hadn't happened in a while. And he even came and shared the couch with me. I was surprised at first. I had missed having him be affectionate with me so much and I wasn't going to pass up on the opportunity, and so we cuddled while my favorite movie played on the screen in front of us. My arms wrapped tightly around his thin form, his body fitting with mine perfectly. It was such an important moment and I had to go and fall asleep.

I went into the kitchen although I knew he wouldn’t be there and when my suspicion was proven right I made my way to our room. Maybe he wanted to take a nap more comfortably on the bed, that's become our usual routine for the past few months, him taking naps several times in the day.

I opened the door slowly and frowned when I saw the bed unmade. My eyes travelled to the small balcony we had in the bedroom and that's when I finally found him. He was smoking a cigarette and the white curtains danced around him with the light breeze coming from outside. He had changed his clothes and was now wearing a thick wool sweater that hung loosely over his shoulders with dark sweatpants and no shoes. I noticed his hair was damp and droplets were falling on the soft material. He had taken a shower. The thought made me smile, but I tried not to let it show too much.

"Hey you," I said softly, trying not to startle him as I walked into the enclosed space. He looked at me for a second and then the other way to let out the smoke from the drag he'd taken prior my entrance.

"Sorry," he sighed and stubbed out the cigarette on a plate we kept in the small table we had there. "It was just this one, I swear."

"Don't worry about it," I replied.

I'm not a big fan of his smoking, but it's become his way of coping with everything. Doing it keeps him from focusing on the other stuff and even when I believe it's very damaging for him, I understand he needs it sometimes. He's been trying to do it less often though, for which I'm glad.

"What are you doing?" I asked after a small silence.

"You fell asleep and I felt like it was time for a shower, and then," he pointed up with his index finger and I looked up at the sky. It had been a sunny day since the morning, summer making its first appearances after such a cold winter and now the sky was a deep blue above us. “I couldn’t remember what it was like, for it to be so warm and... blue. I don't know.”

I chuckled lightly as he shook his head and felt my heart soar with joy at his words. It's been twice this week that he's showered. And him being able to feel the warmth again made me want to hug him tightly and never let go. He’s slowly getting out of the Hole. That’s what he called it. When he got sick, he said he felt like he'd fallen into this Hole inside his mind. And he's finally making his way out of it after so long.

I looked at him and offered him a smile. “Well, summer’s right around the corner, you know. Warm nights are coming soon, and clear skies all the time, bright stars at night too." I said remembering our last summer before everything went down, where we spent the whole season trying new things like camping and going on road trips to the beach. It was the happiest he was. Before. "Oh, and sunsets. Don’t forget sunsets.”