Fighting for love - Severus Snape fanfiction (BOOK TWO of A Magical Muggle)

Chapter 33

It is commonly said that pain has four stages: suffering, perseverance, revival, and healing. Or at least that was what Ana's grandmother used to say when she was alive. Each stage is supposed to strengthen a person and teach a valuable lesson. And each stage takes you closer to healing.

What a load of crap, Ana realized.

Life is nothing but pain, with a few breaks of joy that soon are turned into the most hideous nightmare.

As the following week went by, Ana's health didn't improve. On the contrary, her wellbeing deteriorated, her spirit broke completely, and whenever someone looked into her eyes, the usual sparkles of life had gone for good. She shut down everyone's attempts to cheer her up, she closed her heart in order to lessen the heartbreaking sensation of everyone else's pain. It was easier that way. People tend to forget who she is and what she can do. And the main problem is that they forget she can feel everything around her. Every sensation, every emotion, every shift in the air. And the Currow's aura was turning from a warming flame into a block of ice, considering everyone was in a constant state of worry, sadness, and anger.

In the meantime, Dirk was sentenced to receive the Dementor's kiss. Ana wanted to watch it happening, but after a heated argument with Severus, she lost any strength to even get out of the bedroom. However, she realized Severus was right to keep her from watching him go away since she might meet him in the afterlife very soon.

Severus was, unmistakably, wrecked with Ana's deteriorating mind. He was desperate due to many things: Ana's health not improving at all; Alba and other experts couldn't achieve a conclusion regarding Ana's blood sample; he had lost all his strength to keep going since Ana decided to push everyone away, and that also included him.

"You have to get out of that bed," Severus told Ana who had been in bed for two days straight, refusing to eat (since she would throw it up anyway) and refusing to even talk to anyone else in that house.

"For what?" She answered back. "Oh, Poor Ana, she's going to die anytime soon. I know I am going to die, I don't need to watch everyone's pity faces looking at me to remind me of that!"

"They worry about you, as I do."

"I don't need them to worry. Worry about the unknown, not the certainty of life. My fate is written, I am going to die, they have to accept that."

"Just because you lost yourself, doesn't mean everyone else did!" Severus slammed the bedroom door with all his wrath boiling on his body. He knew what Ana was doing. Perhaps getting everyone angry at her would make it hurt less. What she didn't understand was that she was just making it harder for them. All of them.

He couldn't quite remember when was the last time Ana let him hug her - really, truly hold him close to her. And it hurt more than it was supposed to; it hurt like a knife in his heart, like a deep burning sensation in the pit of his stomach, slowly bubbling and festering, ready to burst out and devour him from the inside out at any moment.

 They were all tired, all hurting in different ways, some physically, while others, emotionally. 

And the only one that couldn't see that was Ana herself.

Alba visited Ana one morning, after hearing from Severus that she was pushing everyone away as if everyone was her enemy. Slightly perturbed by such confession from the potion's master, the scientist decided to put some senses into Ana's head before it was too late. 

When Ana laid her eyes on Alba she knew that the conversation was not going to have a happy ending. And she was right.

"I'm trying to remind you that you are suffering," Alba said. "As are the people who care about you."