Fighting for love - Severus Snape fanfiction (BOOK TWO of A Magical Muggle)

Chapter 34

Severus took his time to go upstairs and see what Ana wanted from him. He wondered if she was going to release hell on him for confiding in Alba about their personal matters, but the truth is that she wasn't having that attitude only towards him. Everyone around her was suffering, watching her and her usual cheering spirit succumb a little more every day.

When he finally gathered the courage to knock on the bedroom door and open it, Ana wiped her tears away immediately as if she wanted to hide them from him.

"You summoned me?" He asked.

"I did," Ana replied, afraid to look him in the eyes and crumble apart knowing that the pain behind his two black orbs was caused by her. "We need to talk."

Severus closed his lips in a thin line. We need to talk is never good to hear, not even to the raven-haired man.

"Sit here," she patted on the mattress, gesturing him to take his place by her side.

Her beloved complied and walked leisurely to the bed.

"I... I need to apologize to you. The way I've been acting... especially towards you... it's unforgivable. You have been doing nothing but taking care of me, day and night, and I... I am so sorry that I was harmful towards you."

Severus grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"You, above anyone, are suffering. You shouldn't be apologizing for anything."

"Yes, I should. I have been acting--like a bitch."

Severus curved his lips up.

"I cannot deny that."

"And... about marriage..." Severus's grin vanished all of a sudden. "I can't marry you, Severus. I want to... God, I want it so badly, I didn't even know how much I wanted it until you mention it. But I can't do this to you."

"This what??? What's keeping you from being mine?"

"I am yours, Severus. "

Severus nodded his head.

"You know what I mean."

"Sev, you and I both know the reality of my health. It's deteriorating. Every day I feel like there's a piece of me that's ripped off of my body as if someone was constantly punching me in my guts - as if a knife is cutting inside out. I -- I can't marry you knowing I will most certainly die. And you're going to suffer too much already, I can't label you as a widow."

"What? Is that why you are withdrawing from marrying me?" Severus was stunned by her confession. He was not foreseeing such an obtuse motive.

"Yes, I'm in pain, but mostly because I know you are in pain because of me."

"Do you positively assume I am not aware of that? Do you believe I have not reflected about everything that is happening to you? To us?" Ana was about to reply but Severus didn't let her. "I am the most fortunate man on this planet... because I grasped true happiness by having you in my life. And if you die, I want to be labeled as a widow because it will remind me that you were here; that I offered you my all and you were entirely mine; and that you were connected to me not only through love, but also officially. I do not wish to marry you before it's too late. I want to marry you because I, unquestionably, love you and because I want to be connected to you in every way known to man."

He hesitated for a moment when Ana broke into tears.

"I love you, Ana. More than life itself. I admire you so much... Because you had every reason to be corrupted by wickedness, but even through pain and grief, you thrived. You transcended all my expectations and I am infinitely proud of the woman you are. Why shouldn't I want to marry such a wonderful person?"