『ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ』 ➵ minsung ✔

『three』

hey bunny,

i almost had a heart attack when you texted me today, asking for help with our english homework. damn, i bet i'm obvious even in messages. but i can't help it. i wish i knew how to get you out of my head, but i like me better when i'm with you. there's something about you that makes me feel good, inside and outside. you always make me feel better, you always manage to somehow, make me smile. the jokes you make, every breath you take, all the times you tease me, secretly it pleases me, though i'd never admit it. the way we pretend to fight, call each other names but the names i call you behind closed doors are never the ones you call me. 

i'm so confused about how i should act around you. should i just continue being obvious, and dare to dream? or should i ignore you, and try to get over a mere crush. is it worth loving you if you see me as nothing more than a very good friend?

i know that even if you reject me, i'll move on. but i don't want to move on. i want to be with you forever. 

today, the teachers let us choose a seating plan, and you chose to sit next to me. i remember you sliding into the chair next to mine with a sheepish smile on your adorable face, and saying: "can i sit here?" 

i'm surprised we don't get in trouble for chatting in class, because we spend the long hours giggling away.

when i'm sitting next to you, i try to act indifferent, and concentrate on what the teacher's saying. that's impossible, no matter how hard i try. all i can focus on is the way you'll look at me, or the way you cross your arms onto your desk and fiddle with your pencil case.

we went out for pizza at lunchtime, with our friends. i'd forgotten my money, so you lent me some of yours with a promise to reimburse you tomorrow. you even let me take a sip from your drink, as we didn't have enough money for two. it wasn't so windy today, so the hot sun beat down onto the bare skin of our arms and legs. 

there's a large fountain, right in the middle of the park. it's always spouting out sparkling clear water, and people often drop pennies in it. you haven't had a childhood if you haven't try getting them out, i'm sorry, but it's true. 

we wet our forearms and hair in the fountain, and danced in the ground jets. you know those ground fountains, where water comes spraying out at any moment? every time it's warm enough, we always chance our luck, and run across them as fast as we can. i remember the surprised look on your face when you got completely drenched, and the amused one when i got soaked too.

our friends were there too, they're there all the time, but sometimes i can't help but think that we're all on our own, enjoying life at its fullest. if only i could get over this crush, and go back to being best friends.

love,

jisung <3