『ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ』 ➵ minsung ✔

『ten』

clad in a warm sweater and a long, tartan scarf swathed around my neck, i stepped out into the garden. moonlight dew shimmered on the silvery leaves, and the claw-shaped moon cut a blinding slit in the sky's velvety blanket.

minho was waiting for me right where i'd spotted him from my window: under the eldest oak tree in the neighborhood. i can't remember a time when the oak tree didn't seem titanic. it simply stood there, in silence, its leaves swaying in the playful breeze or swirling down from its heavenly heights. whenever i take the time to admire its timelessness, i like to imagine that it has seen many ages. through thick and thin, this tree stood proud, and still does to this miserable day. 

"hey!" minho whisper-shouted at me, beckoning me closer with a hand.

i took it and dragged him out onto the street. "we can't stay here. my parents will wake up and see us."

he didn't say another word until we were well away. he just stayed silent and hung onto my hand, awakening the butterflies that coursed through my core. 

"where are we going?" he asked, squeezing my hand. 

"you said you wanted to go to the park?" i queried, and he nodded, then looked down at our intertwined hands. 

he quickly let go, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "sorry."

i didn't reply, i just kept walking down the street towards our destination. i knew that if i replied, i'd say something stupid, and inevitably expose myself. 

so i kept quiet. for now.

a part of me is dying to scream at him that i love him. another part of me, one that i try to ignore, knows that he'll hate me forever if i ever confessed. but i'm so tired of waiting. i'm waiting for something that'll never happen. 

the walk from my house to the park wasn't too long, and we sat on the edge of the large fountain. the jets shot up from the ground at any given moment, this time illuminated by lights that made the droplets glow. 

minho huffed and took my hand in his own. "it's beautiful, isn't it?" he whispered, looking straight into my eyes. 

"what?" i looked around, taking in the stars, the moon, the park, the cool night air. and my hand, cocooned in his.

"everything," he sounded choked up, and he turned away, refusing to meet my eyes.

i let go of his hand and hugged him, almost tipping us over and into the fountain. "are you high?" i asked him softly, rubbing his back. 

"no," he wiped his tears away with my scarf and he laughed, "it's just—," he abruptly stopped and heaved out a sigh, "i love my life. because of you. ever since we started hanging out, sungie. ever since we started hanging out..." he sniffed wistfully, and i patted his head a little awkwardly. 

"ever since we started hanging out what?"

"you've made me happy, baby. so, so happy. if only—"

"tell me," i ordered, turning to face him again. 

"only if you say the magic word," he demanded, scuffing his feet on the ground.

"please?"

"no."

"now?"

"no."

"tell me baby?"

"yessssss that's the one," he smirked, his tear-stained cheeks forming that smile that i'd come to love. 

"what were you—

"if only you were mine," his eyes filled with tears, but he held my gaze this time. "i've been wanting to tell you how you make me feel for so long, but i couldn't. i thought you'd be afraid of me, that you'd never want to speak to me again, that you'd think i'm just a creep and that all i wanted was to kiss you—