"Good Morning idiot Hookers" I said.
"Good morning Roach ✋🙎♀️" said number 3 and 5
How rude of them- 🙎♀️
Number 2 was busy struggling in the bathroom with her mascara or something because she couldn't keep her hand still enough to apply it, as usual ✋
I'm Mija Oberlin, I am the president of
Mija Mija Tau, a sorority at some rich bougie college in LA also known as MMT, because Mija I don't speak ✨broke✨✋
I, along with the other Mijas, stay at Mija Casa, the sorority house.
Speak of which, let me introduce you to the other Mijas, aka my Minions
I don't know their names, I don't ✨want✨ to know their names
So simply, they go by-
Mija number 2
Mija number 3,
And last, and, probably least, Mija number 5
I'm Mija number 1, obvi
There was a Mija number 4, but she died from Chlamydia. We were at a party trying to scam the musty straightie shadies for their coin, but she was like "I'm ✨sick✨✋🙎♀️ I'm going hOmE ✋🙄" and I was like, no, stay 🙎♀️.
But, she went home anyway and then she died.
So another thing I was right about.
Oh and her real name was something like Crooked-lyn Don't remember much about her anymore except the fact her Father invented
this new line of birth control called plan C and that she rode the mayflower with some rat named Parked Car.
A lot of people drag sororities and how they're
exclusive and they're a class system.
Well, guess what. Life is a class system Mija.
And a sorority is the one place left in the world where you get to pick and choose the people around you.
Anyways that roach of a maid I hired last year that was busy scrubbing vomit out of the carpet with a Barbie hairbrush was Miss Lizard
I call her Punctuation Drudge because she's essentially a house slave and she always uses perfect punctuation, grammar, and capitalization when texting as if anyone would notice or care.
She also talks all proper and whatever like if she was giving an oral report
Here, watch this
"Oop- seems to me there's still a lot of puke to scrub- Let's make that a priority okay Punctuation Drudge? " 💁♀️
"You're not prohibited to address me by that name." 👩🏼
"Sorry ✋ I have a question. And it's just a hypothetical question. If I asked you if you knew something about number 3 having HPV what would you say-"👁👁
"I'd say I don't know. " 👩🏼
"Dont know...?"🧍♀️
"I don't currently have any information regarding number 3's health."🧍🏼♀️
"Amazing. Thank you." 💁♀️
"Oh and keep scrubbing, you've barely made a dent in that stain"🙎♀️
Number 3 and 5 finally came downstairs
number 2 had already gone to her class ✋
Miss Lizard told me that the Headmaster called and she needed to see me right away 🧍♀️
