Lovers in October

TWELVE

A N T O N I O

The air around him felt clearer than ever before, even when he was surrounded by buzzing conversations and loud laughter that contradicted the weather outside. Mary-Kate's every-day perfume still lingered in the atmosphere, or at least that's what he thought, everyone else seeming to go on with their day like their noses couldn't pick up the heavenly smell. He was just a tiny bit convinced that the aroma only stained his brain, tricking his nose into believing she was sitting right next to him, when she was actually on the other side of the coffeeshop to order a cup of much needed coffee for herself.

His eyes decide to focus on Clayton and his boyfriend, Anwar, doing assignments while trying to not think about each other, and make their passion filled glances go unnoticed. It was adorable how all over each other they wanted to be, how they were deep in the honeymoon period that takes over every beginning of a new relationship. Every now and then one of them would teasingly push the other's knee with his own, the silent banter seeping through and making Antonio smile.

As he looked over at Clayton, the words that he spoke up a few days ago echoed, as if it was screamed inside a network of underground caves, barely reaching Antonio's ears. But unluckily for him, they did, and Antonio had no choice but to pay attention.

He wanted what Clayton and Anwar had. He wanted someone to hold his hand and look at his soul like no one else ever did, and he wanted to be able to touch that person and call it his while running his fingers through their hair. Antonio tried to picture a different person, any person, even one that he might have briefly, accidentally saw while walking around. It would be easier to forget who he craved, who was constantly so close to him it made him physically ache.

That night was when it all changed, leading him slowly to an inevitable doom. That night where the thought of kissing her truly materialized inside his head for the first time since they met, when their birthday party was in full blast far away from where they were, wrapped up in a party of their own. When he learned how her body was shaped through soaked clothes as her body was stuck on his, with an arm around her waist, refusing to allow any escape.

But just like Antonio was ready to give in and let go and just kiss her, in the same way he pulled himself away and stopped before he did something that would complicate things in a way he wouldn't know how to fix. Never before had he ever dated a woman he was friends with in such a way, and the possibilities made Antonio worry for the first time in his life. The man who was known for his fire and passion when it came to love.

Such irony.

"Earth to Antonio." Anwar voiced, "What's got you so troubled?"

"Let me guess. Is it a brunette?" Clayton asked as he raised an eyebrow, sipping from his coffee.

Antonio pursed his lips and tilted his head, feeling his hair slightly brush against his skin as he did so. But before long his exasperation turned to desperation, his shoulders slumping significantly, making the two men in front of him exchange strange glances with each other.

"Fine. I admit it, it is."

Clayton almost choked on his coffee as Anwar dropped his pencil with much less grace than what he would want, both trying to decide if their ears were deceiving them. The fact that Antonio was crushing on Mary-Kate - even if he intensely pretended otherwise - was something widely known to both, and yet they never predicted he would admit it first.