Supernatural: Book 3: Yin-Yang's Story

Chapter 25 - Realization

(Yin)

    I can't comprehend, or understand how much me and Yang have bonded over the past few days. It feels nice to vent everything that is wrong here. It feels nice for someone to listen and relate to my problems.
    Everything I say to her isn't exaggerated, or made up. Everything horrible that has happened is real. When I talk about how my dreams are haunting me, it's real. When I vent about missing waking up and seeing the sky, and my dads, I mean it. It feels like I can now finally speak.
    I wonder if Yang understands. I know that she was able to identify when I was struggling, but will she understand when I'm talking about the outside world? I know that she wasn't able to understand many of the things that I had explained to her before, so does she understand now?
    I don't know if Yang is being affected by this. I don't want to drag her down to my level of perspective. She still seems energized and upright though, so I'm guessing that it doesn't bother her too much. If she learns from me though, she might be able to hide her emotions. She didn't do that too often when we were younger.
    I sometimes do miss the abyss that I was in. I didn't have to deal with the laser sessions. Or the attempts with magic. Or Cizen's face. Whenever I feel like that, I just look at Yang, or when she's not there, just remember her smile.
    She's the reason why I want to keep going forward. I want to help her see the good things. I want to escape with her and let her see the good in the world. I want to keep her happy, even if it means sacrificing my satisfaction.
    I'm feeling better than I was a week ago. A week ago, I felt helpless. Paranoid. Worried that something might happen to either me or Yang. Scared of what Cizen will do next. Anxious for me to finally break.
    Now, I feel like I have confidence. I feel like I can stand up to anything. I can take on whatever evils come my way. Because I wouldn't have to be alone on my journey. I would have Yang with me, no matter what she has experienced with me or not.
    I don't know if she is still the same person as I used to know. Yes, she still has the same personality, the same physical body, the same enthusiasm. But she had lost all of her memories with me, at least until what had happened. She doesn't remember any of my most developmental moments.
    If people were shaped by her memories, which they can be, then she wouldn't be the same sister. But she acts just like my sister, and based off of what had happened yesterday, she still is.
    What had happened yesterday helped support the idea that I could still help Yang remember. She was talking about a dream last night that she had maybe around a month ago. Yang had wanted to say something about it earlier, but just didn't feel right with it.
    It was about being in these halls with other people. Which could have represented the school hallways, with students roaming around. She explained these rows of navy blue boxes, which could have been lockers.
    She talked about these two girls who were in front of her. She didn't remember what they looked like. I would have tried to explain to her what they did look like, but I didn't remember them either. I only knew that the tall one was Aurora, and Nicole was the shorter one. She never said anything about height differences, though.
    I have tried to make plans about escaping, and they all have failed. No matter what I try and figure out, it always has a dead end. It would help if I had another mind to work with me, but she doesn't seem like she wants to escape, which I find crazy. Why wouldn't you want you to escape this isolation and torturing?
    Should I be able to ask her things that make me seem suspicious? What would happen if I ask her more about what she is dreaming about? Or how I want her to remember her old life, and forget what she had to go through here with me. Or maybe how I still want to escape this nightmare. I don't know if she'll think of me in a bad way or not.
    Cizen probably has a microphone attached to the security camera or something. He's always able to add on to what one of us was saying while we were in this cell. What would he think of what I am saying, or what I want to say?
    If I said anything about escaping, he would probably try and secure the place even more than it already is. I don't know how it's possible, but he would find a way. If I said anything about wanting to never wake up, he would probably do something to erase those emotions, just like he attempts to do with the pill.
    Yang's powers have only gotten stronger and more expansive. She can use her prediction pretty well now. She has been able to use her special vision only a few times. She has been able to fly and only use it for weightlessness. She could only do it when she was calm. She has been able to use her healing, but there isn't much to heal physically here.
    She learned to use pulses from me, but as soon as she did, she was put in time-out for the rest of the day. He said to me that if I ever teach her another power, he would damage me like he had done to Two. I know that he wouldn't do that, he said that I was too fragile.
    She said that Cizen told her that she should be experiencing one other power. I'm surprised that he hasn't been able to activate her power by force, or even try to do anything about it. I don't know exactly what power it would be, but Cizen should know. He would do anything to get his way to make his life easier.
    I was getting another laser session done, and I had realized that neither me nor Yang had done anything in the small room for awhile now. It was odd.
    "So have me and Yang mastered the memory game?" I ask Cizen.
    "Why do you ask?"
    "Because we haven't used it in weeks."
    "The games aren't needed anymore."
    "Why not?"
    "I have your results. I know how much you know, and how much you need to grow."
    "Then why aren't you trying to help me learn?"
    "You're the one who doesn't need it."
    I pause for a moment, thinking about what he's trying to hint at. "So you're saying Yang needs it?"
    "Yes."
    "She doesn't need help with those things though, she's doing fine."
    "Her scores say otherwise."
    "She still doesn't need it, she just isn't used to tests."
    "She's been given enough time. Now look into the laser."
    I roll my eyes, and look into the laser. I pass out, as I always do. I was taken back to me and Yang's cell. The rest of the day was pretty mundane. Yang had had another attempt at flight, and didn't get anywhere because he was pressuring her.
    That night we talked about the other friends we had. I did remember Nicole and Aurora, and I talked to Yang about them but she doesn't remember anyone else. She didn't understand what a friend was, and I told her that they are like us, but their friendships are made because they are similar. She said that we would be friends. I agreed, but added that we were related biologically. I explained to her that she had many friends over the years, and that I didn't have too many.
    She got confused again when I mentioned Lucas being more than just a friend. I know that they were sort of dating, as they went to a movie together. I never knew how that went though. I told her that it was more than just wanting to help each other out, but they loved each other.
    She asked what love was, and I started to have difficulty trying to tell her what I know. I told her that it was kind of like us, where we would stick together no matter what came our way. Then she asked if Lucas was a sister and of course I said no. He wasn't related to us at all.
    It ended with me not knowing how to explain how love works. I tried to give her examples and definitions, but it just didn't work. She hasn't had enough social interaction with others to know how to separate dating from friends and family. I know I could've explained it to her, but there was no way.
    And I know that she can understand, it's the situation we are in. She is capable of knowing and she is smart enough to understand. She was confused, and I wanted to help her. Before we went to bed, I promised her that I would let her know what love was when we escaped, and I could show her. She liked that idea.
    The next day, we were both eating breakfast. I was trying to explain a game that we would both play when we were younger. Most of us in our elementary school did it too. It was called the clapping game for some reason.
    We would sing a popular song on the radio that we would use. We kept the same rhythm as the song. We would play patty cake at that rhythm, and the goal was to attempt to throw off the other player. We could throw them off by messing with our hands. It was pretty fun.
    After breakfast, I tried to play it with her. Before I can think of a song, Cizen walks up to our cell. "Both of you, follow me." He said, and shut off the lasers.
    "Both of us?" Yang asks, and he doesn't give a response. We both get up, and follow him into the large room. We are all silent for a moment.
    "What are we both doing here?" I ask.
    "I am experimenting. I know that both of you can exchange powers and energy, so I need to see if you could assist each other with both of them consciously."
    "Why would you want to test that?" I ask.
    "Because I can. Now, both of you stand over there." He points towards the opposite end of the room. We both moved over there. "Now, hold each other's hands. Physical contact is needed." We hold each other's hand.
    "Why is your voice breaking more than usual?" I ask. Cizen's voice over time has become higher and more feminine than normal, with some ties of masculinity. I have heard it only getting worse over time. I wonder why.
    He sighs, and doesn't answer, as I expected. "Now, I'm going to throw some cans at you. Your goal is to attempt to catch, or deflect them. You cannot use your hand or body to stop it." He says, and sits down in a swivel chair, which is next to around twenty soup cans. I wonder if they are full or empty.
    "How are we supposed to do that?" Yang asks.
    "You have to use one of your powers."
    "But I don't have any powers." I say. His emotion changes from condescending to annoyed.
    "Regardless, you will have to try." He throws a can, and it soars above us, and hits the wall behind us. Yang attempted to try to catch it, maybe with her free hand or something, but it was too fast. Fortunately, they didn't seem to be full.
    "Why don't you just use your telekinesis?" I ask. He doesn't say anything, and throws another can. It doesn't have a lot of velocity, and it hits my shoulder. "Ow." I sarcastically said. "Did you not hear me?"
    "I did." He replies, and throws another can.
    "This is boring. She doesn't have any powers that she can use to catch them."
    "Maybe I can try and fly though." Yang says to me.
    "You can't use your flight." Cizen replies.
    "Then what's the use of doing this?" I ask.
    "To use your powers."
    "I don't have any powers!"
    "Yes you do."
    "No I don't! No matter what you try and they won't work because of you." I argue.
    "Two-"
    "No."
    He throws another can, and it's towards me. It's moving faster than usual. I close my eyes, still holding Yang's hand, and I hear a blast. I hear something hitting a wall. The can doesn't hit me. I open my eyes after a second, and I realize what happened.
    Cizen was thrown into the wall, and Yang's hand was extended. I could hear her breathing heavily. She gasps after realizing what she did, and puts her hands over her mouth, letting go of my hand.
"Wow. You did it." I say.
    "I-I didn't mean to do that- Is he?" She stutters.
    "No, Yang, you did something great." I walk over to him, and I see that he's still breathing. "He's fine, just unconscious."
    "W-what does that mean?"
    "It means he went to sleep with force. He's going to wake up, but this finally might be our chance.
    "Do you know what this means?" Yang says, her eyes changing from orange to yellow.
    "What?" I ask. I look at the door, and I see that he had forgotten to activate the lasers.
    "We're finally free! Lets go now, it's just you and me now; standing alone. The world is there-"
    "No it isn't." I interrupt her. I know what she's talking about, but I'm not seeing us escaping. Yang's prediction must have temporarily passed on to me.
    "Let's go now." She says, and grabs my hand. I can't believe it, she wants to escape. But I foresaw it not being possible.
    "This isn't finished." I pull her hand away.
    She looks confused. "...What?"
    "Even though Cizen's there, I'm still seeing things. I know that this isn't right, that this isn't the way out." I explained to her.
    "You wanted this, and now we need to go."
    I chuckle. "Oh is that right? I know that this won't work. Look at him showered, in blood and magic. Now look in my eyes, he still holds the power. After years and years of escaping his fears, he now knows your abilities; for the staff to hear. And they'll all think he's now insane. But Yang I know it was you inside." I'm filled with confusion, and start rambling. Yang never wanted to escape, and now she wants to? What type of strange and sudden betrayal is this?
    "I-I helped him; I helped him 'til this had happened." She backs down, and takes a few steps back.
    "You just attacked him, are you goddamn crazy? You promised to give the good to him, a goddamn lie!" I know that she wanted to help Cizen, but this? This goes against all of her morals!
    "What do you want from me?" She begs, tears well up in her eyes.
    "Oh, look and see what he's done." I turn towards him, and point at him.
    "...I won't help you take him down." She states. I know that she couldn't, but now she's separating from me. I wanted to do this together.
    "Fine, I'll do it by myself." I exclaim. I start walking out of the room.
    "You don't need this." Yang pulls me back with her hand.
    "Oh I know that I need this." I turn around towards her and throw my hands in the air.
    "You can't see what's happening, just snap out of it now." She refers to her prediction, a tear slides off of her face. I can see what's happening though.
    "No, look in the mirror! You know we both fear him. We're one of the same, we're afraid to be near him. We despise his name, and we're both suffering. But you want me to not hurt him; you're worse than Lucas." I look at Cizen, and Yang turns around to look at him too. It looked like she was trying to process all of this.
    "I don't know who Lucas was, so please stop this now!" She begs.
    "I only have you to blame for this pain in my chest." I say. I'm still suffering. I'm jumping to conclusions, I know it, but it's true.
    "No!" She exclaims.
    "If you won't go, I will, to avenge the city I once knew." I walk out the door, into the hall. Yang follows behind me.
    "You're filling your heart up with hate. All the same-"
    "No!" I interrupt.
    "As what you-"
    "No!"
    "Said that you did-"
    "No!"
    "To me that night-"
    "No!"
    "Months ago!" She's referring to what I had said to her about that night. The night that changed everything. I stop at the door that separates the halls, and turn towards her again.
    "Shut it! It's time I made a statement. A pity that Cizen has ruined us. We could've done better, just the two of us. But Lucas had to make a fool out of us." I didn't mean to add Lucas, but without him, neither of us would've probably been here.
    "You're lost..." She says quietly.
    "Is this what love is really for? Is this all I get for protecting you? Cizen in front of me, in blood and magic." I referred to what I said yesterday about love. Because this doesn't feel like love. "Years put to waste for all I hate. We both know Cizen's fate. The drama's about to start."
    I hear Cizen getting up. Yang runs to him, and stops at the door. I follow her. "Don't move One." I say. That was our chance to escape, and now it's gone.
    There was no use of escaping now. So I didn't even try to run. When Cizen realized what was happening, he wasn't angry. I don't know why, but he just seemed emotionless. I thought that he would have been furious. It wasn't any different on how he acted daily, but he put me in time out, while One had to stay in her cell.
    We were both reunited that night. Yang and I didn't say anything to each other until the next morning. I was the on to tell her sorry, as her eyes had a deep blue in them. They also looked so hurt.
    We didn't have any sessions, tests, or examinations that day. Never have I once has there been a day like that. The only two times we saw Cizen that say were when he gave us our two meals. He didn't look at us, or say anything.
    That night though was different than normal. After eating dinner, he got both of us out of our cell and we all sat in the small room. Me and Yang were on one side, while Cizen was on the other. We sat in silence for a few minutes.
    "I'm going to need both of your consents for an operation that will take place in a few days."
    "Is that why you brought us here?" I asked. He doesn't say anything. "Why don't you just do it without telling us. That would be something you would normally do."
    "This isn't a joking matter Two."
    "Why though?" Yang says.
    "It's because the operation won't work if both of you don't know what it will do."
    "What is it?"
    He sighs. I don't understand why this is so difficult for him to talk about. "It will change both of your personalities drastically."
    "Will it make us more ...optimistic?" Yang quietly says.
    "...No. It will remove your abilities to empathise, be inspired, change, and feel any sort of emotion."
    "Like you?" I say instinctively. I wasn't exactly understanding what he was saying.
    "If you want to put it that way, yes. It will make you blood thirsty physcopaths."
    "I- Uh- Why?" I stutter. I understand what was happening now. Yang wasn't saying anything, she was silently crying.
    He looks at the table. "To continue my legacy after I die."

-

    That was the only way I could've told them. I don't think they have understood what was happening yet though. Over the next few days, they'll know. They probably won't accept, so I'll have to give them some sort of anesthetic to make sure they comply. I didn't have enough time to make anything formal for them, I just had to talk.
    I don't understand why it became so hard for me to speak to them. This is what I've wanted for years now. This is what I wanted, right? I can't make mistakes at this point.
    Yet I did. I tried to activate Two's powers by trying an experiment. It ended with me unconscious, and them nearly escaping. I hadn't taken the correct procedures to keep them contained.
    Two mentioned something about my broken voice before this incident happened. I know that they have noticed far before I had contained them, but it was a slap in the face for me. I know it has been reverting my voice.
    In only a week might my powers finally give up. They can barely operate now, but soon, my true form will be revealed. I need to change their personalities and help them recover as fast as possible so they cannot react to it. I can't look even weaker than I already had in the past few days.
    I don't know why I thought this plan would work. I must have not expected the consequences. I only have three weeks approximately left, and I have to make every second count. No matter how much I am dying. No matter what it costs.