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"Can we get an update on Kelly?"
"Is she talking or saying anything?"
"How you feel about everything Jay?"
"Beyonce do you feel responsible like people are saying?"
"Are the rumors true that Kelly and Lebron are over for good?"
"Jay what about the album? When can we expect it?"
"How's married life?"
"Having any kids soon?"
It had probably been a couple of days since my sister had been forced to go to the hospital. I couldn't believe the woman that stood before me was strung the fuck out on some weak ass pills. Her animosity towards me actually kept me from going back to the hospital to see her. Every time I tried to talk with her, she scowled at me or gave me a dirty look. I even tried to ignore her ways and play it cool but she was making it too hard and Shawn agreed that it was best for me to not stress while pregnant. She was going thru too much and I didn't want that energy on me. For the first time ever, I was doing great and I didn't want that destroyed by her or anyone else. Now I could actually understand why she wouldn't deal with me back in the day, but I didn't get the chance to explain that to her because she was so angry at me. While she was hating me for whatever reason, the media and fans were in shambles trying to understand how their queen of America was hooked on drugs. Like I thought they would, a lot of people blamed me and others blamed Lebron. I was actually surprised that he was a no show at the hospital and that he was nowhere to be found or seen. I just knew he'd be up here looking for the opportunity to relish in the limelight of loyalty. Pretending to still be together faking and fronting for fame.
Shawn and I were more than over the paparazzi hounding us and figured it was time for another vacation. He was getting ready to release another album before the baby came. He wanted to be fully present while I gave birth and I didn't want to be traveling, in and out of hotels, with a newborn because of his fame. I made sure to beat that into his head so that's why he was working hard now so that he'd be there for me later. We were on our way out of the studio to meet with Solange and Alan for dinner. Shawn had actually worked with Alan three albums ago, so he was actually cool with coming to hang out with him.
We ignored the paparazzi and got into our suv and headed to the restaurant. As usual, I was starving.
"You want to go to Paris," Shawn said grabbing one of my hands to kiss the back of it as I used the other to rub my stomach.
My stomach felt extra hard today. I don't know if it's because the baby could feel the bullshit I had been dealing with from Kelly and was sick and tired too or what. The stiffness had been going on probably for the last few hours but I tried not to pay it any mind because I didn't want to interrupt Shawn's process of working in the studio. His work ethic was unmatched. I swear I fell asleep three times and each time I woke up, he was creating a brand new song each better than the last. The stiffness didn't hurt, it just made me a bit uncomfortable. It made me wonder if I felt like this now, what could I be in for when I got even bigger.
