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The moment I heard the flashes, I regretted letting Peach talk me into sitting courtside with her and Jay for Lebron's game. We were all in Houston together and I was having a good time with my sister and her now husband. I could see in the little time they had been together that he was helping her to grow into her best self. I was pissed she hadn't told me about the whole wedding thing and kinda jealous that Lebron and I hadn't made it that far, but I got over it and realized her life didn't need to be shared or approved of by anyone, especially not me. She seemed to be finding her place in the world and everything was finally going her way. The rock that Jay had gotten her could outshine mine on its weakest shine time of the week. That, however, was another story.
We were walking to our seats and it felt overwhelming hearing people yelling for me, for Beyonce and for Jay. The shit was nerve-wracking. I wasn't ready to do this shit again but Peach said if I came with her to the game then she would come to our parents' house for Christmas dinner tomorrow, so I had to put my ego down and join them. I took one pill while they weren't looking and it hadn't kicked it yet. I know I was supposed to stop taking them all together since things were looking up but sometimes I just needed something to help me relax, especially in moments like these.
When we finally got inside the arena, I made eye contact with Lebron and he fused his brows together and walked over to us. He greeted Jay and Peach and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Thought you were going to the box?"
"It's Peach," I said nodding her way. "She wanted me out here with her."
"You good," he said staring into my eyes to see if I was telling the truth. He had been so concerned for me after I explained our time apart and it was heartwarming to know that I could share everything with him and not be judged. He didn't know that I still was taking some pills. Not as many as before so I didn't think I need to explain that.
"Oh yeah yeah," I said leaning against him for a moment to reassure him.
"How ya'll been man? It's good to see ya'll still going strong," he said now turning his attention to Peach and Jay.
Jay started to speak for the both of them as Peach turned to talk to me.
"You doing okay?" she asked as if she was almost holding back her smile seeing me suffer.
"Whatever Peach. U don't care."
"Why would u say that? U should be the last person talking about caring," she said making me suck my teeth.
"I'm not doing this shit witchu today. I'm good," I said rolling my eyes at her and taking a seat. I was just ready for all this to be over so we could leave.
She followed behind me and sat down, while Jay continued to talk with Lebron. I started rubbing the outside of my arms for comfort and she grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it.
