When a Star Falls (SakuAtsu)

Both POV

Sakusa's mother stuck to her word of changing for him, for a good three days, and then she was back to doing things the way she wanted them. It was honestly more than Sakusa expected. He didn't think that she would last for one. However, on the trip back to Japan, she was kind and would wipe away Sakusa's tears as she smoothed out his hair like a normal mother would do.

When he returned to his apartment and said he needed time before seeing anyone, she surprisingly nodded her head and left without a word. She would stop by around meal times to drop off food for him and sat with him to make sure he ate it before leaving him to give him some space. He hoped she would try to keep it up for a week, but around the third day, she barreled into his apartment with a horde of people and began ordering them around.

They pulled back all of the curtains at his place, pulled him away from the bed filled with tissues he was lying on, and threw him into the shower to get ready. They set out an overly fancy outfit and began pulling at his hair to style it. He wasn't sure exactly what the first thing his mother was planning to do, but the anxiety was already seeping back in. Like clouds that hang over the skies, unnoticed and pure, until they grew heavier and darker, leaving nothing but storms in its wake.

The anxiety, the compulsions, and the stressors were all there. Being with Atsumu didn't suddenly cure him of anything, that was ridiculously impossible. But when he was with Atsumu, there was assurance, and enough of it to push back at the overwhelming thoughts in his head. When they sat down at restaurants together, Atsumu would explain every step the staff went through and every person that would touch the food. He assured Sakusa that each of them thoroughly cleaned their hands and utensils they used to cook the food with. Eventually, Sakusa trusted Atsumu so much that all he had to do was say that it was safe and he took his word for it.

The days when the sirens would wail louder than usual and he couldn't get himself to leave the house, Atsumu didn't mind at all. He made sure to hold him tighter and keep his voice down lower as they laid in bed all day. The times when Atsumu would introduce Sakusa to the locals that he was close to, Sakusa would get exhausted after a couple and admit he needed to stop. Atsumu was never bothered by it and understood immediately. He never pushed him to keep going and assured Sakusa that he was not upset. He stayed right next to Sakusa, making sure he let Sakusa know that he wouldn't leave him.

With Atsumu, there was nothing but constant assurance and support. The loss of it pierced his heart so severely that he was left numb. When his mother had him brought to their company and explained the situation and had him bow in apology, he didn't register any of it. None of the faces belonged to Atsumu so why would he care?

After several days of being dragged around to apologize and tell the same story over and over until he was thoroughly spent, his mother would dump him back in his apartment like a tool she didn't need to use anymore. She never truly cared about anything else than his voice, and he had always known that so he didn't even feel upset whenever she abandoned him to cry all throughout the night alone.

There were too many nights he spent alone, gripping his pillow as if he could pretend it was Atsumu he was holding. However, he was left with nothing but the cold from it. He hated falling asleep without the feel of Atsumu's arms around him, and he hated waking up without that feeling even more. Because it was as if his mind was purposely trying to torture him as he turned to reach out for someone that wasn't there. He knew he wasn't there, but he couldn't stop trying to reach out for him as if he was.

He couldn't stand the sight of the sun above him because the warmth and brightness only reminded him of a smile he fell in love with. When he was given a new phone, his mother thought she was being kind by sending him the picture she found of Atsumu and him. But the sight of them together smiling like idiots in love twisted the knife lodged in his heart even deeper. He was paralyzed by the sight of it as he laid in bed, staring at it the entire night and into the next morning.