My Life in Hell

Chapter 4

A month after he threatened my brother my grandparents took us to Disneyland in California. I can honestly say I don't remember the car ride there or what happened while we were there. Honestly don't care because I was a Disney kid so I know I had fun. So I don't need to remember all the details there.

I do for all the unknown reasons and mystery of the mind remember the car trip home. My brother and I spent a good portion of it in the flatbed of the truck. Now we still have these things we used back then to give truck beds a detached roof. My family called it a camper shell. That's not the original name for them.

Now the more vivid memory of the trip home was a 'nap time' fight. My brother and I  had a normal sibling spat over who slept were on the make shift bed we had. It got out of hand and I bit him. Not my best idea or a very good thing to do in general.

My brother being a tattletale knocked on the window to the truck were the grown ups were. Our Aunt Mags poked her skinny self half into the area me and my brother were. He ratted me out and I hid under the blankets we had.

Auntie called me over to her many times and I didn't move. I knew I was in trouble I wasn't that stupid. During this time I did notice the car had stopped moving. So we were idling, probably at a red light I didn't know. What I can say is as my aunt was pulling at the blankets the car started rolling.

Even a child knows that's bad. During the accident I ended up getting knocked out a window. My aunt kept my brother in her arms so he didn't get hurt much. My aunt on the other hand because of where she was almost got torn in half. I don't know the impact on the other adults in the accident because I never asked. From what I can tell in my memory they didn't have more then bruises and minor injuries. I could be wrong though.

I was brought to the roadside by my attacker, because that man had to keep his toy safe. We all got rushed to the hospital obviously. I ended up with nine stitches in my face that day. Glass from the window obviously cut me up pretty bad.

Found out the dr whom I fought like a mad demon to keep away from me was a plastic surgeon. Yes I was terrified of getting stitches. I mean seeing that needle coming at my face can you blame me? I still to this day have a fear of needles going were I cant see them. I don't to this day know why the roll over happened exactly.

My stitches were I believe the worst injury. I was so young, in horrible pain and terrified  I screamed my lungs out. My brother and uncle were heartbroken hearing it from the waiting room. Yes I was that loud and was told I was that loud.

Now the reason I had a plastic surgeon for the stitches was from what I was told because of pity. Normally those things scar  badly and with it being on my face he took pity. I was left with no visible signs that this event happened at all. For that I'm truly grateful to him.

The rest of the trip home was silent and un eventful. Mostly because we were all in some kind of pain and in horribly bad moods. This nightmare is a big reason I'm all for seatbelt enforcement. I am absolutely not joking. If I had been in a seatbelt I would not have gone through that.

My return to school was not fun. Picked on left and right by everyone except my brother. He was the only person who stood by me and back then. Dried my tears and told me I wasn't ugly. Mom told me bullies are part of growing up deal with it.

My sister was born in June I'm just going to call her "A". Its literally her first initial easy to remember without giving her real name and that's all your getting sorry. I was seven  years old when "A" was born. My brother and I had spoiled her while driving mom crazy with her.

Ok let's make this short we would play with her making her laugh and squeal then we would run away making her cry. Ya I know I was mean, I get it Cosy gave me hell over it and so did mom. "A" was about a year old when mom finally found out what her boyfriend had been up to with me.

Mom was shocked to say the least. Now in public she played the angry mom well. Behind closed doors I was forgotten and she moved on. Didn't care didn't talk to me about didn't comfort me nothing. All that was for other people not private.

I started to get the feeling I was expendable at this point. That I didn't matter. Needless to say she did the right thing and had the bastard arrested, still dosen't change she didn't care enough about my emotional wellbeing. Most of her time was spent on my now one year old sister, and the cops.

I'll admit I tried reaching out, I tried asking her for help. What did she do? "I don't have time for this Trisha go to your room." All I ever got, simple and clear. So I stopped trying to talk to her. I spoke to Cosy instead. Ya ya I know I looked crazy literally talking to noone. I mean I just spoke out loud to my reflection in a mirror back then. I mean it was still my brain she lived in right? I thought it was normal.

Mom called it an imaginary friend. Ya shes not imaginary, shes called a split personality. Did I know this then heck no. I just thought she was my best friend the kind I would have forever. Well I still have her, we are still friends and we are totally different personalities altogether.

I'll fill you in on our differences later. At this point she always pretended to be me when I needed to be strong. She spoke to the police not me. She spoke in court when I was nine not me. She still handles all my major stress issues even today. I'm getting ahead again I'm sorry.

Look at nine I not only went to court to put my moms boyfriend in jail, I also switched schools for the first time ever without graduating. I was going to Robert E. Lee elementary in El Paso for second grade. In third grade I ended up at Stanton elementary.