Gone in an Instant. (Demi Lovato/Zayn Malik)

Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry about the long wait for this chapter! I hope it's not that crappy... I plan to update again sometime soon! Stay strong loves. Xx
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I sigh as I stare bitterly at my reflection in the mirror. A mixture of hate and disappointment engulfs me knowing that the image in front of me will never change. I ignore the fact that Amy is right outside the bathroom door and will be pestering me any minute for taking so long. I'm currently too caught up in my emotions to care.

I lightly trace my hands over my stomach and hips. I can slightly feel my ribs and hip bones through the thin material of my t-shirt which slightly relaxes me. It means that I haven't gained as much as I thought... Yet anyways. By the time I'm out of this place, I will have gained back every single pound that I've tried to desperately shave off.

I can't even imagine how disgusting I will look when I'm back up to a 'healthy weight.' I've worked so hard to get to where I am and even now when I look at myself all I see is fat. No matter how much weight I lose it's never enough. I will never be enough.

"Demi, let's go." Amy chimes from the other side, just as I was expecting. I take a few deep breaths before opening the door and walking out. She doesn't question why I'm stressed, mostly because she already knows that this whole experience is very hard for me to handle sometimes.

Our walk down the hall is silent, no different from the other day. Except instead of being dragged along to the art room, I find myself being coaxed to the complete opposite side of the building.

Amy explained to me earlier that this particular block in my schedule changes quite often, just to mix things up. So today, I will have to suffer through some sort of cooking class. Even better.

"I'll see you in a bit." She says, while adjusting the giant stack of papers she has on her clipboard.

"Bye." I answer plainly and turn to enter the room.

I look around the room and spot Zayn at one of the counters next to the various cooking appliances. I honestly don't know what I would do without him being here with me.

"Hey." He welcomes as I get closer to him. My eyes wonder across the colorful decorating supplies displayed across the counter. There's multiple dyes to color the frosting, candies of all sorts, and of course, sprinkles. Just looking at all of the sugar makes me feel like I've gained 10 pounds and I didn't even touch anything.

"Do you always have some kind of project going on?" I ask, watching as he finishes piling some pink frosting on one of the cupcakes.

"I do, actually. As I've said before, it keeps my mind from things... You know, you could do something here too if you weren't late to everything." He smirks at the comment he made, knowing damn well it's true.

"Alright, you got me there." I say, failing to keep a smile from spreading across my face. "Why did you make all of these, anyways?" I question, my gaze drifting down to the calorie-filled cupcakes sitting neatly on the counter.

"Well... I got here a bit early and I thought I'd surprise you with something." Zayn quickly adds, "But I completely understand if you don't want one, I-"

"No, no," I cut him off, "I'm feeling better today." I say, not wanting to ruin his good mood. I'm thankful he doesn't say anything about last night.

"Okay." He brightly smiles. "I only made one for you anyways. The rest are for some of the staff..." I roll my eyes.

"How can you even stand these people? You are such a suck up." I continue to playfully scoff as he laughs.

"You love it though." He adds.

"I assume you make paintings for all of the staff members too?" I joke along, dismissing his comment.

"No. That was just for you." He replies, while handing me my cupcake after transferring the others onto a plate. He obviously has spent a good twenty minutes on these and I didn't want to make him feel bad by not taking one.
My stomach churns at the thought of eating something like this... Just holding it makes me uncomfortable. I have to get rid of it.

"I'm going to go to the front desk to see who wants one," Zayn announces, interrupting my menacing thoughts. "You comin?"

"Uhm... I'll meet you there. I'm gonna stay here for another minute so they know I actually showed up." I lie, because I really just wanted to throw this piece of crap out without him knowing.

"Alright." He responds. I watch him leave the room and eagerly wait an extra two minutes to be sure he's at the other side of the building.

My short lived happiness vanishes as I
toss the perfectly sculpted cupcake into the nearest trash can. Zayn was only trying to be nice, yet I had to ruin that by throwing his work away. Maybe if I wasn't such a fat-ass I could eat something like that.

I continue to criticize myself while I catch up to Zayn, an immense feeling of dread and anxiety building up within me. Why can't I just be normal?