Gone in an Instant. (Demi Lovato/Zayn Malik)

Chapter 10

A/N: I published the summary of my new Demi fanfic called 'Written in the Sand'. I won't be posting the prologue or actual chapters until this book is finished, but it would mean the world if you added it to your library! :) thanks for reading.
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"I'll tell you, Demi. But you will never think of me the same."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I question anxiously. My heart is starting to beat faster and faster with every passing second. Zayn shakes his head while casting his gaze to the other side of the room. I'm about to open my mouth again when he starts talking, barely above a whisper.

"There were many times when my parents sat me down and told me I needed help. A simple yes or fine I'll go, would've changed everything... But of course, I refused to get any kind of help that was offered to me." I listen intently, not really sure where Zayn is going with this. "I remember the past two years and how shitty they were. God, everything was screwing me over. I had a girlfriend of almost two years who cheated on me. I didn't think she was like that, either." A frown forms across his lips, making my heart ache. I've never seen this side of him before, this side filled with so much hurt and so much pain. Has he been hiding it this whole time?

"My boss fired me after that, leaving me without a job. Since I already graduated school the year before, it was really the only thing I had to pass time. Without the job, I was stuck at home more often with my father who wasn't very supportive. Every opportunity he had, he was saying shit comments to me and always putting me down. I was a disappointment to him. Ha, I even remember him calling me useless for not having a job." He sadly laughs for a moment. I continue to nod my head silently letting him know that it's alright to continue.

"My mother wasn't home often during the day and my father started drinking. It was like he was turning into someone I didn't even know. Late at night I remember hearing nothing but constant fighting and yelling between them. More time was going by and I knew I was getting worse, shutting myself out from everyone and everything, but I didn't care anymore." As Zayn's soft but harsh words sit in the air like a heavy weight between us, I come to a daunting realization. No, not just the fact that this is the first time I've ever heard him speak this much in one day. This whole entire time here, I thought I was the broken one. But maybe it's been Zayn all along.

"One night I was taking a walk. I had to get out of that damn house, anywhere but there. It was well past midnight and I could barely see where I was going, except for car's headlights illuminating the side of the road every so often. It didn't take long before I reached the bridge, about a mile down from my house." I bite my lip as my stomach drops, I can't believe he's saying this.

"I walked to the middle of the bridge, grasped my hands across the rails of the fence, and stared out across the deep blue water. I remember how my mind just took off with all of these crazy thoughts. I thought of suicide quite frequently but I didn't think I would act upon it. One jump. The two words were on repeat and it was like I was in a daze. A light rain started falling down, each droplet leaving ripples and patterns down below. I couldn't help but sit on top of the solid steel fence, letting my legs hang over the side." I want to say something to Zayn, but at this point words aren't forming. His face is practically emotionless as he recites the events from that night.

"I didn't care about anything anymore. I didn't care if I would hurt my family. I didn't care that I may regret it later. I didn't care if anyone was to find my body dead in that river. Nobody gave a fuck about me, anyways. I was tired of faking it all and pretending to be okay. I wanted the sadness to go away. I wanted to be happy again and I obviously wasn't going to be as long as I was alive." A tear gently rolls down his cheek, causing my heart to split into a thousand shattered pieces. The sincerity in his voice brings a chill down my spine and I'm now biting my lip to the point where I taste blood to choke back my own cries. Because Zayn, my Zayn, the happy, positive, funny, charming, and cute Zayn that has an adorable accent is more broken than he can handle.

"I thought to myself, if I jumped, just one jump, all of this would go away.

One jump and all of the bullshit, all of the sadness and anger and confusion and fear would be gone. Everyone who screwed me over, everything that never went right, everything...

Would be gone in an instant. "