Gone in an Instant. (Demi Lovato/Zayn Malik)

Chapter 12

~Final Chapter~
-Zayn's POV-

Time.

Seconds. Minutes. Hours.

Our whole universe is dependent on the theory that '60 seconds consume a minute.' Time produces lives and lives produce thoughts. People live their daily lives based upon this one simple yet complicated principle that is time.
Is time really just an illusion that people have created for their own benefit?

It is estimated that every second there is a new life being brought into the world, every two seconds a life being passed on, and every 30 seconds someone is lost due to suicide.

Now, as I sit on the edge of my bed with my head held tightly in my hands, I think to myself. We never have as much time as we would like, but we always have more than we realize.

If I had arrived to that bridge just seconds earlier... Would I be dead right now? Honestly I wish I was, but time decided to be on my side that night.

An exasperated sigh escapes my lips as I slowly lift my head out of my hands and shift my gaze to the plain white walls of the facilitation. My gaze lands upon two large holes in the wall, that are somewhat patched up. I shake my head, wondering why I have to be this way.

Demi left treatment this morning and I refused to say goodbye to her. Regret is mixing with the dozens of other emotions coursing through my veins, because what kind of selfish asshole doesn't say goodbye to their friend? I told her that I was happy for her, and I am. She was improving immensely and everyone around her could see that. I tried my hardest to put on that same fake smile that I had gotten so used to plastering on my face for her sake. And It worked.

Honestly, I don't know what I was expecting to hear from her in the first place when she told me she was leaving. Demi was the only thing keeping me going and the reason I held on. I didn't want to say goodbye and end up breaking down in front of her. With her gone, I can't find a reason to care anymore.

I've been on countless medications for my anger management during my stay here, but none have worked. They make my suicidal thoughts worse, if that's even possible. They say that it could be a few more months before I get cleared to go home, or until they can find a medication that 'suits' me. I disagree. I don't think I'll ever leave here and if I do, I'll be getting transported to an insane asylum because that's where I truly belong.

I stare bitterly down at my hands that are now clenched tightly together in fists. I wince as my inner demons and negative thoughts internally attack me, eating me from the inside-out. I don't comprehend what I'm doing until I'm standing directly in front of the wall and my right arm is drawn back behind me. Suddenly, I don't care that my left hand already has bandages on it and I don't care that I'll probably get thrown out by destroying more property. I just need to feel something. My fist vigorously collides with the dense drywall and I clench my jaw as the burn numbs my hand. I take a deep breath before slamming my fist into the wall again, and again, and again. I can feel my eyes watering, not from tears, but from the immense pain I'm putting myself in. For these 47 seconds, I'm able to silence the taunting screams of my real life nightmares. As long as the pain lasts, I'm able to forget.

"Shit." I catch myself mumbling under my breath, along with a string of other profanities. My chest is moving up and down quickly with my uneven breaths and the rapid beat of my heart. I look down at my hand which is now completely swollen and coated in blood, I really do belong in an insane asylum. I'm a fucking monster.

I know I don't have much time left before one of the staff members come barging into my room, they're not surprised by my outbursts anymore. Nobody is.

As I tiredly lean my back against the partially damaged wall, I close my eyes. Throbbing pain continues to shoot from my wrist and up my arm, but I find it somewhat calming. I let my mind wonder off, not caring where it will take me at this point.

I find myself questioning many things, like if I'll ever have another girlfriend. For some reason, whenever I think of that term, Demi's adorable laugh and one-of-a-kind smile instantly pops into my head. I guess it's true, I do have a bit of a crush on her.... I mean, who wouldn't?
But it's too late now, I blew every chance I could've had because I was too much of a coward to tell her how I really feel. Nobody like her would ever feel that way about me. Hell, nobody in general could ever love someone who can't even love themselves.
I find myself questioning why Demi even came into my life. If everything happens for a reason, why did this go terribly wrong for me?
I find myself questioning why I'm so screwed up. I wonder what I ever did to deserve sitting here all alone in a treatment facility, when I'm only 18 years old. I wonder why I can't be normal and go to parties, hang-out with friends, and live my life to the fullest. The bandage on my left hand, my right hand that's now covered in blood, and the holes in the wall serve as a reminder. A constant reminder that I'm not normal. Someone who yearns to take anger out on everything around him, even himself, could never be normal.
Over everything else, I find myself questioning why I'm still alive. I don't have a purpose to be here anymore. I don't have any friends or family that care about me, nobody would notice that I'm gone.
I've learned that I'm not as scared of dying as I was that day on the bridge. I've experienced so many emotions and pain that everything just seems the same now. Every second passing by will simply get me to the next day. The colors around me are faded and blurred into one. Nothing is exciting or joyful anymore. If death came calling my name, there's not a doubt in my mind that I would answer with open arms.

In the midst of all those questions, I find myself wondering if I'll ever find the answer. They do say that there's an answer to every question in life, but I'm having a hard time believing that.
Breaking me out of my trance, I hear a knock on the door. I roll my eyes, figuring it's one of the staff members coming to send me to another useless therapy session... You can tell how good those are working.

I'm taken back as I hear that same familiar voice that I came to know and love after so many weeks. That same familiar voice that I've learned to be open with and trust with every piece of me. That same familiar voice that I thought I'd never hear again and that voice could only belong to one person.
I don't know what she's doing here or why she came back. I don't know if I should be happy or worried, but I know that no matter what happens I will support her. We can get through anything together.

When I see the girl standing there with the beautiful brown eyes and adorable freckles painted perfectly across her face, I realize that maybe I do have the answer to all of those questions.

And now she's standing right in front of me.

A/N: So this is it! I hope you all don't kill me for the ending, I had my reasons of why I wanted to make it this way... As of right now, I don't think I'll be writing a sequel. But if you guys want one, I'm sure I could come up with something. Comment your thoughts below if you'd be interested in reading the sequel. :)