Kiss me || Dylmas

6-Do I?

Thomas'POV

It's been a day. Not a word. I didn't tell anyone, and I feel like I am going to explode.
"—Newt?" I decide to call him "—Oh, hey Thomas" Thomas...

"—I uh... was wondering if we could talk?"

"—Uh yeah, sure... Is everything alright?" he sounded serious.. to serious to be joking.

"—Y-yeah, no yeah.. I just.. have to talk.. to you, I mean.." no shit, Edison.

"—Okay.. meet me in the library in twenty, yeah?"

"—'k.." i hang up.

It's pretty late, but the school doesn't lock for years. I leave the house at 21h10, and in ten minutes, I'm waiting at our usual spot, reading a book that I red that day. It's been a few minutes since I came, maybe he won't show up? why would he, at the end...

"—Hey.." I look up, seeing the blonde boy in the dark.

"—Hey... you actually showed up.." I let my voice much more deeper then I wanted It to be, even though that's all that I feel at the moment.

"—Of course... Did you think I wouldn't?" he sounds... emotionless? or maybe I just don't really know him that well. I should just tell him that I don't want to see him anymore, that would be easier. I'm sure he doesn't even want to see me... Why does my chest hurt this much? it never did like this, before...

"—Thomas?" that hit me like a train..

"—Y-yeah.. well I just wanted to tell y-" I feel my voice break, but continue anyway "y-you that I am sorry for being annoying and I.. I won't bother you anymore and..." I stop, trying to stop myself. I take a deep breath.

"—I'm just... not enough and I get that... and.. and I..." Why does this hurt? I'm not used to this feeling..

I can't see him, but I hear his footsteps as he sits in front of me.
"—Tommy... don't cry..." he has no right doing this, no right.. I feel a tear escape my eye.

"—I'm not" i whisper.

"—Did you really think that? that you are not enough..?" he sounds.. hurt..

He catches a tear from my face. It burns, but I don't want It to... I don't want It to, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want..

"—...I don't want..." I sob.

"—What?" he asks, whispering too.

"—I don't want It t-to..." I sob, again" I don't want you to... I just don't want you.." I don't, I don't, I don't, I do- I do..

"—Tommy..-" this actually hurts even more.

"—Don't Tommy me.. just don't" flashbacks from yesterday hit me with that name..

"—This is all about yesterday, isn't It.." he lets go of my cheek, "—You should've told me if you didn't want It.." is he being serious?

"—You- it's not that.." is he stupid? Yeah he's stupid..

"—Then what is It?"

"—You can't just- come here and give me a.. t-touch me and then act like It didn't happen.." I say a little louder.

"—I thought It was a one time thing..." boom.

Newt'POV

"—I thought It was a one time thing..." I don't know if I really think this, but...

"—Y-yeah.. I- me too, of course" he wipes his tear of.

"—I think we could be really good friends, I just didn't really want to make It awkward.." friends, that's not at all what I wanted...

"—Yeah, okay... I just thought.. never mind.." I could see his eyes clearly now that we've been in the dark for a long time..

"—I'm really sorry if I confused you with.. you know.. it's just something I do with friends.." what the actual hell am I saying? oh my god

He nodded in response.
"—Hey, you're still coming to the thing after school tomorrow, right?" I'm trying to change the subject.

"—Yeah.. I think It's gonna be pretty cool.." he said, I could hear that he was a little less sad.

"—Yeah, I can't wait... I was actually mostly exited to go with you..." not the right to say now, gosh Newt.. He didn't respond..

"—Y-yeah.. well I think I should go know... sorry for wasting your time..."

"—Yeah.. No! I mean no, you didn't waste my time.. at all.." I hate myself for doing this.

———

Thomas'POV

As I walk to my basket practice, I can only think about last night... One time thing... It's just something I do with friends.. Of course It was. It always has been.

"—Okay, so this is what we're going to do; we're going to play a game and I am going to form pairs that will be used at practice from now on." nice, at least I'm going to be with someone who isn't much better than me.

"—So the last person to be in the game will go with the first person that was eliminated, and so on" wow, spoke too soon...

At this point, I was just trying to stay away from the ball. I guess everyone here aren't knew, since nobody is eliminated yet. I suddenly feel a very familiar feeling, the same one I felt at the first practice. I turn around to see Newt, staring again. but this time, he quickly looks away, and I swear that his cheeks went a little red.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm to quiet. If I don't like something, I should say It, right?not just run away from the ball... Gosh I hate this!

I suddenly start to run a little faster forward the boy that had the ball. I somehow get the ball, and I hear the coach say something like come on Edison, come on!. I start to run towards the basket, but I think I was pretty fast, so no body was there yet. And then, boom! I did It.. I did It!

"—Yes! Yeeess!" I scream in the excitement.

"—Wrong side, Edison! W r o n g   s i d e ." the coach is the one screaming now..

Shit.. Well, It could count as a half point, right?

"—So.. that means It doesn't count?"

"—No Edison, It does not count.." damn.. he seems pretty tired.

"—So.. I should sit.. there..." I scratch the back of my neck..

"—Yes... yeah..." did he even sleep last night?

"—On the bench.. out.." so am I out or..

"—Yeah, the bench, yes.." he sounds more like exhausted...

"—Right, yeah... Are you sure though?.." just to be sure..

"—Yes, I'm a million precent sure, damn It, Edison!" more of annoyed-by-Edison-exhausted...

As I walk away, I see Newt, a little red from from laughing. I feel something... warm inside me... Like I am happy that I made him laugh... But I don't want to feel this way... I don't, I-I... Do I?