WhiteScratch

The Aftermath

Somehow, I'm back with my father in the final minutes I had with him. It feels so real like I went back in time but something is different this time. I don't know what it is but I can see my father again. He's holding my hands in his saying something very familiar. 

"Rachel, listen to me very carefully! You have to get away from me! I don't want to hurt you and I don't want you to watch me die! Go to Jake's house, he'll keep you safe!" he said in the same voice tone I remember. So calm but authoritative. 

"I...I can't! You can't leave me! I have to stay with you and help you get better!" I say. Wait a minute, I can think my own thoughts totally apart from whats happening but I'm repeating what I said so long ago! Whats happening here? 

"You can't darling. There is no cure and I'll only hurt you more. Please...go." He says as a tear rolls down his face,"I love you". Now I don't remember that. I remember hearing him barley whisper "I love you" as I was walking out the door but not him saying it so quickly and I don't remember the tear either. I just stand there gazing at him with intensity which I don't remember either. I'm not moving like I did and I can't force myself to move either. I'm frozen watching him hold his head in his hands muttering, "Can't stop it. Can't stop it". I can feel the tears pouring down my face but I'm not crying myself. Just then, my father cocks is head up at me with crazed eyes and leaps at me, trying to tear my face off while I scream " FATHER, NO! THIS ISN'T YOU!"

I jolt up screaming and crying. Jake holds me tight and says "Rachel, calm down! Its was just a dream! It was just a dream! You're ok!" in the most tender voice I've ever heard from him. I thrash around in his arms, breathing heavily as his voice starts to calm me. He keeps repeating  "You're ok. I was just a dream." until I'm completely calm and then I hug him so tightly. Tighter than I've ever hugged anyone. Then the pain comes back. The retched most absurd pain I've ever felt but I keep hugging Jake. Its like he can sense I'm in pain again because he gently holds me back with his hands in mine. I look down with my eyes closed trying to not scream again. He looks at the make shift bandage he made me out of his shirt which is absolutely drenched in blood. I open my eyes and make contact with his. He looks at me with such a worried but compassionate look. He then digs into his bag and pulls out a massive piece of cotton and an actual, medical aid, bandage. "This is gonna hurt ok? Be strong for me." he says in the most caring voice. I nod at him, close my eyes, and grind my teeth waiting for the pain. He starts to carefully pull his blood stained shirt off the gaping hole in my neck. I moan softly trying to not start screaming in agony again. "I know, I know. Just hang in there Rachel." he says as he gently puts the cotton on. He then wraps the bandage around it so that the cotton stays put. He doesn't tie it tightly but it feels like its so tight its cutting deeper into my wound. He puts the bandage roll down and I cover my face with my hands trying with every fiber in my being to not yell at him because I know he's helping me. He again, takes me in his arms and just holds me, rocking me back and forth while I get my bearings.  I squeak out "Thank you Jake" with all the sincerity I can muster. He kisses my head and says "Of course. I won't have you dieing. You mean too much to me. Just go to sleep again, it'll help speed up healing. I'll be right here."  I don't want to in fear of so much but I can't help it. Again, I fall into a deep sleep. This time much more aware of how safe I am with Jake.