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The letter 'J'

Everyone says that either name or letter is "bad"But is it really that bad for a boy to have that name?Even if it's foreign?

Questions clouding my mind

Only to see all sides of you...
But why does it have to be a tugging war between another?
The romantic feelings only dissipate into just  an imaginary  life

What more could I say?
Just seeing fmv pop up on my recommendations
Only from out of nowhere or just by search;
The heart yearns for you in a moment then either never or back again;

There are many things that are different
The feeling, the motivation, the hard work, the features
But in one simple thing...
The connection 

Personally, I am in between of two 

One in a very worldwide, well-known group and the other that is closer in age;
Yet in a large group, the biggest in history ever-made.
"These are just fan-idol feelings," I say.

Indeed it's just that...
But, what if I want it real? 
They are a mixture of my ideal type, 
However one fits more than the other...

These are just random feelings 

The infatuation.
Would they turn into real love?

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