Stockholm Syndrome

Chapter 14

I just realized that if I update within the hour I will be averaging 2 chapters a day, so I just had to write this. Sorry if it sucks, I was gonna save the writing for the morning.

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(Nialls POV)

It is impossible to tell how much time has passed when I wake up. But here's what I can tell you. My eyes are stinging and no doubt swollen. My throat hurts from crying. My lip hurts and my mouth tastes like blood. I need to pee, my mouth is dry and I'm starving. But here's one more thing I can tell you: Emma has her arms wrapped around me.

I run my tougue over my bottom lip, wincing at the pain. Where the darkness had scared me only hours before, I now find it almost comforting. Like in the darkness I can be who I am. And unlike last night, I feel comfortable in my own skin, wanting to smile. And as little sense as that makes, its not uncommon for me to be cheery while My eyes are still red from tears. And the explanation for that can be either really simple or really long if I let it.

Here's the short answer: I am very likely bipolar.

Now here's the long one: I am very likely bipolar. I can't really keep in the same mood for long, and while I'm known for being the cheery one, I go though Times when I get really, really depressed. As in, So depressed that Zayn actually had to talk me down from suicide once. I question my worth, my belonging. It used to happen a lot when people were sent away to the basement. But here's the catch: I was never officially diagnosed. Or taken to a doctor for it. Or given any real medicine to take for it. The closest thing I ever got to medicone was my mother pressing a candy heart into my mouth as I cried and reminding me that I am loved. It wad mostly to keep me from gnawing on my lip. She hasn't done that since I was four. I've been obsessed with the candy ever since. And right about now,  could really use some. They actually would have been more useful earlier when I really needed to snap out of the state I was in and was biting my lip to pieces. But I'll settle for now. Whether for my illness or not, those things are comfort to me and the rest of the band has proved many Times that it doesn't take a mentally ill boy to need comfort in the dungeon. Besides I've snapped out of my state by now. And as Mich as I hate to admit it, I think I know the reason why. And that reason would be the girl who is still holding me tightly in her arms.

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So was that really short? Yes.
Did it make a lot of sense? No.
But it did answer the infamous question of why Niall eats the candy hearts. And why he seems so cheery to most of the world while so broken around Emma. So question. Do you like broken Niall, or happy Niall better?