Stockholm Syndrome

Chapter 25

(Nialls POV)

That night was one of the stranger ones i have ever expearienced. After some more jibes between the group, we all decided to go to bed. Zayn had suddenly reaquainted himself with the room we had used to share, and gave the girls his room for the night. Which meant I was left to the mercy of two boys who were perhaps way too concerned with my love life. Needless to say, I took a long shower hoping theyd be asleep by the time i got back. No such luck. They were both still livid and awake when I came back. Not to mention they had dragged Harry and Louis into the matter. Scarily, it reminded me of when we all waited in Zayns room to talk to him about smoking.

I sit on my bed, waiting for them to crack a joke at me for taking iniative for once. But that isnt quite what happens.

"Niall, we've been talking. And you need to see a phycoligist." Liam finally speaks up.

"I dont need a shrink." I retort. I dont even want to get into this converation. It couldnt lead anywhere good.

"Niall, youre unstable sometimes, you know that. Were only trying to help." Liam insists.

"I'm fine." I pull the covers over my head.

"Niall you were crying about this earlier." Zayn points out.

"I just need some candy. Did any of you think that i might just need some sweets?" I grumble. Truthfully, I really do need some candy hearts. I hate feeling so unstable. Those little candies were the only things that ever kept me anchored.

"Niall, dont you think youre a bit too attached to those?" Louis points out and i wince. I really am, and i know it. But i also know whats gonna happen if i go to see some mental health doctor. Im gonna get diagnosed as bipolar, and no one will ever look at me the same way.

"Louis its okay, he's still learning. But Niall, you cant keep using those forever. They dont always work, and you know that." Zayn was of course referring to the incident a year ago.

"Look guys, i appreciate the effort, but im not sure this has accomplished anything." I complain, rolling over.

"Niall please. I try mate, but its hard to know what to do with you sometimes." Zayn begs, and tears come to my eyes. My band mates think I'm insane and even my best friend thinks im a burden.

There are several seconds of silence as I cry under the covers. Then I feel Harry's embrace wrap me up and pull the covers away from my eyes. Is it sad that i have to be held while i cry so often that i can recognize who it is thats trying to comfort me. Is it even worse that I used to cry just to get attentoin? Is it even sadder that i dont pretend anymore and still cry just as much.

"Niall, he didnt mean it that way." He tells me. I know that. And thats the worst part. It still hurts, even when i know he didnt mean it. Because no matter how little you mean it, the truth hurts. 

"PLease Niall. If nothing else, just let them talk to you. MAybe it will make you feel a little better." Harry pleads, and despite everything i nod. I trust Harry. Hes a good person. He wouldnt try to get me to do anything that would hurt me. Despite his close friendship, Zayn still kind of scared me.

"okay." I exhale. "Ill talk to them." Everyone cheers at that, and each take their turn to hug me. I'm not sure why, but I've always found hugs comforting. SOmething about physical contact just makes people seem so much more sincere. After that, they finally let me go to sleep, but i find myself wishing to talk. Sometimes I get like this. And so once I can hear them all snoring on my floor, Isneak out of the room, and before I know what I'm doing, Im standing outside of Emma's door.

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I actually typed this chapter on a computor, and i cant type for the life of me, so almost everything is misspelled. Sorry, but im not gonna bother chanding it.