Stockholm Syndrome

Chapter 26

(Emma's POV)

I'm laying in bed trying to sleep. Is it sad that that doesn't come easily to me? If you said yes, you have obviously never bee in a situation this stressful. It makes me feel a bit sick to my stomach, but mostly I'm just jumpy. Jumpy and not even a little by tired.

There is a light knock on the door, quiet enough as to not wake up Maya, but I know I'm not imagining it. I shift out f bed, careful not to wake Maya, and pull open the door.

I expect to see Zayn I guess, to discuss finances, or Will to explain himself, or Louis to try and cheer me up or convince me to pull a prank. Liam to warn me that Niall can deliver hard to handle, or Harry just to talk. Its not that I was surprised to see Niall, it's just that I wasn't really expecting him. And I certainly wasn't expecting to see him standing shirtless in the doorway.

Now let's make every thing clear here. Niall not wearing a shirt was certainly not the first thing I noticed. I did not spend several seconds examining his body and I certainly did not enjoy the sight. I definitely did not silently wish to see him shirtless again.

Now that being said, that boy does have a good body. As in, really really amazing. And any normal teenager would definitely agree with me.

"What's up Niall?" I attempt to be nonchalant. Its not like I was staring at him. Didn't I already say that? I just don't want him to think he can cluster me just by taking off his shirt.

He shrugs and is silent for a moment. "Just choose wouldn't sleep. Sorry." He turns to walk away, but I grab his arm. His bare arm I might add. Because I may have already mentioned this, but Niall is shirtless. Sorry, am I mentioning that too much?

"I couldn't sleep either. You wanna talk or something?" I offer. He looks sceptical for a moment, so I continue. "C'mon Niall. With management like they are, you aren't gonna get the chance to take me out on a proper date any time soon."

After several tense moments, Niall nods. I grin and grab his hand. "C'mon Niall. Let's talk in the living room. I have spent way too much time in the hallways of this place." Niall smiles and let's me lead him into the living room, sitting next to him on the couch.

"So what's up Niall? Why are you having trouble sleeping?" I question, turning and sitting cross legged so that I'm staring at him.

"Why are you?" He counters.

I laugh a bit, but quietly so that the others in the house won't hear me. Its pretty dark in the room, and it reminds me sonewhat of the basement.

"Niall, I was in Zayn Malik's bed. I think that's a valid enough excuse" I point out and he smiles. His smile is definitely adorable and I'm glad it isn't so dark that I can't see it.

"I suppose so. I just have a lot going on." He admits. I instantly feel bad for him, and turn back to facing forward so I can put an arm around him.

"You know you can tell me. I might not be able to quite get it, but I'm a good listener." I promise.

(Nialls POV)

I'm so tempted to tell her. Shes so trusting, and the way she looked at me as she promised to listen made my heart flip. She has already seen me manic, And she's seen me depressed several times. I never really got into my moods too bad, but they were definitely there. And she didn't seem to care. I'm biting my lips again. The pain barely even registers and I Bite a little harder. I decide to start with a soft truth and move forward if she takes it well.

"I Bite my lip." I mutter. I've never told anyone that directly before. She looks a bit confused, so I continue. "I Bite the inside of my bottom lip. So hard it bleeds sometimes. The candy hearts help, but when I don't have them...well. " I shrug and pull down my bottom lip, So the open wounds and countless scars are visible. Emma gasps.

"Niall? Why?" There are tears in her eyes, and I let go of my lip to wipe her tears away.

"Its okay Emma. Its just an old habit." I tell her, wrapping her in my arms as she crys.

"What upsets you so much?" She begs for an answer and I take a deep breath before responding.

"Little Things mostly. Nothing big. The big things I handle differently." I tell her. It isn't a lie. I have other things that I do when I get really upset. Biting my lip is just for the things I need to deal with in the moment.

Her eyes widen. "Niall, do you cut yourself?" She looks terrified. I shake my head.

"I'm too much of a wimp for that." I admit. She looks me up and down, obviously not believing a word I'm saying.

"Stand." She commands. I obey, holding my arms out to my side's. I know the routine well. Zayn has checked me for cuts at least once a week since he found out about my lip biting. But I wasn't kidding when I said I was too much of a coward to cut myself. The only time I ever tried, I had dissolved into tears before the blade could pierce my skin.

Emma takes my wrists, carefully examining my forearms. They are completely scar free. Even the time I had tried to kill myself I had threatened to jump, not cut.

Next she moves onto my torso. Her fingers ghost over my stomach, which is also scar free. Her light touch makes me shiver. She looks up at me and frowns. She is silent for several seconds, watching my eyes. Finally she speaks.

"Take off the pants." She blurts out. Heat rises to my cheeks as I blink at her in surprise.

"What?" I ask, sure I heard her wrong.

"You could be cutting your thighs. I don't want you to get away with hurting yourself just because I'm scared to see you in your underwear." She states. I take a deep breath and nod.

"If you're sure." I finally say. Because if I refuse, she will only be more sure that I cut. And I don't want her to worry about me. I don't cut and she doesn't need to think that I do. So with a sigh, I pull off the pajama pants.

(Emma's POV)

Did I really just tell him to take off his pants? Did he really just take his pants off in front of me? What is wrong with me? I stare down at the ground, And Niall laughs.

"I don't cut Emma. I never have. I can put my pants back on now if you would like." He suggests and I nod, not looking up as heat rises to my cheeks. After a moment, he places his arm around my shoulders.

"Its Okay Emma. You can look now. You wanna talk some more?" I nod And let him lead me back the the couch, where he wraps me in his arms. My mouth is dry and I feel like an idiot. Niall soon begins talking just to fill the silence.

"Here's the truth Emma. I told you before that me crying isn't uncommon. Well neither is me laughing. I go back and forth between the extremes. Depressed and hyper to the point of recklessness. I can't really control it. The band thinks I should see a psychologist, and I agreed. Emma I hate to ask this of you, but I need you to promise me that you aren't gonna hate me. Because I'm pretty sure I know what's wrong with me." He rambles and I nod.

"Emma, I think I'm bipolar." He admits And I nod. I didn't say a word. There isn't a lot to say to that. Finally I speak, my head leaned against Niall as we lay on the couch.

"Niall could you sing?" I always play music when I'm trying to sleep, and I hear Niall sings well. He nods sheepishly and begins, singing the first lines of my absolute favorite of their songs. And in that moment, I don't even deny it. I really like Niall Horan.

~~~~~~~~~~

I'm a bit upset about something right now, but I still don't have confirmation, so I'm stressing out a bit. Writing helps. So does music. So thank you one direction.