Seen

Seen

"So you didn't take him back," you hear her follow you down the hallway.

No, I didn't.

"Good girl," says Addison, as she walks in your shadow.

You feel like you deserve an award for that, because you basically almost caved, but you didn't.

"Sometimes people do desperate things for attention," Addison calls after you.

She sounds genuine, and that makes all of it even worse.

"There are two sides to every story," she adds on.

You don't want to hear hers', because you don't want to feel sorry for her even more than you already do.

You brush her off, and she leaves you alone again.

And you sort of wish that she'd followed you more.

Your life turns upside down and inside out again when your mother shows up all Alzheimer-y and aggressive.

It wasn't going to stay a secret for very much longer.

Derek's still trying to talk to you, but you're trying hard to avoid talking to him.

Don't give in. He's a liar. He will just hurt you again.

You're staring at him though. You're up in the gallery watching him operate.

Kinda pathetic, but you're allowed because you had a bad day.

You tell him off while you call his wife all 'leggy and fabulous.'

She is. It's part of why you're avoiding her also.

Cristina collapses and you know that she's safe with Addison.

She's got this. Cristina is okay and now you feel as though you owe everything to the woman whose husband you'd been screwing. You basically have the worst kind of karma.

She finds you one day, still staring at Derek from the gallery, hiding behind your notebook, but you're not so much taking notes as admiring him again.

Why does she have to find you like this, still all longing and awkward?

"Ah, the subdural hematoma. What a nice one," Addison starts a conversation with you. And you answer her to take your mind off of Derek.

She's smiling. Was her smile always that smiley?

"Yeah..." You fumble, wringing your hands together.

That grin. That must have been why he married her. That and for her kindness, and smartness, and everything you ranted to Derek about her.

"I don't want someone who doesn't want me, Meredith..." Addison says as she spins around her wedding ring. "And he doesn't, so I'm leaving in the morning. I just thought that you'd want to know," Addison surrendered.

Oh, no. She's given up. There's nothing left for her here, and now you want her to stay here. She's good for Alex, and Izzie, and she's already saved Cristina. And as for you...

"Will you stay?" You blurt out, and Addison looks at you with a surprised expression.

Stay for me. I don't hate you. And I want you to be in my life.

"I won't stay for him," Addison says softly. You shake your head before you explain that it's for everything but him. Everyone except him. And when she signs a new contract the next day, you already know that she's stayed because you had asked her to. And she did.

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***** FIN