They say love can drive you crazy, my dear

four

I know I should call Harry but I am not brave enough. So I send him a text and ask him about his day. He immediately replies which makes me feel like he has been thinking about me. I find out that his surname is Styles. How perfect...

We keep on texting, even when we are at work and it makes me less concentrated but I don't mind at all. 

I am finally brave enough to ask him if he would like to go on a date with me. He opens the text but doesn't reply. For hours. I feel like a jerk and I am about to delete the message when he answers me and he says yes. 

"What about tonight...?" I ask him.

"Perfect,"he replies. 

So we say goodbye, promising that we will see each other tonight and I start dancing. I don't know why, my body just feels like dancing and I keep on moving until I spot my boss walking towards me. His name is Micheal and he could kill me with his eyes right now. I get scared. I don't want to lose this job too.

"You were late again," Michael begins.

"But..."

"There's no but, Louis. I told you that I will fire you if you are late again. Because you are always late. I've had enough. You are not reliable at all. Leave. Now. You are fired."

I stare into Michael's eyes, not knowing what to say. He told me that he was going to fire me for being late all the time but I didn't think he was serious. His words hurt me. I feel like he just punched me in the face. I open my mouth but not a single word comes out. So instead, I nod as he hands me a box. I put all the things that I keep on my desk in that box, leave Michael alone and visit the restroom. 

I am alone in the restroom and I look in the mirror and see myself as a mess. An addicted, unreliable, trembling mess. I start shouting, grab my lamp from my box and throw it at the mirror and break it. The glass falls apart in a hundred different pieces. Just like my life. I stop shouting but I am still panting and I try breathing slowly. I wipe away my tears and storm out of the restroom, leaving the mirror and my lamp broken on the floor.

I go home and I don't know what to do. This is not the first time I got fired. But now, it feels different somehow. I get a text from Harry but I ignore it. I open the fridge, grab a bottle of beer and sit down. This is the best solution that I can think of. Getting drunk, forgetting all my problems. But Harry Styles crosses my mind again. He will be sad if I don't show up on that date. I can even see his disappointed face in front me. But who cares? I take big sips of my beer, trying not to think about Harry. It works so I turn on the TV with a new bottle of beer in my hand, not thinking about the curly boy who is waiting for me at a restaurant right now.