They say love can drive you crazy, my dear

twenty-one

I take the whole week off at work and so do Harry.

"Good morning, love," Harry says when the morning sunshine makes us open our eyes.

"Hi, babe," I reply while I rub eyes and we both get out of bed.

I spend the day admiring Harry, I don't even take my eyes off him. I watch him when he eats, speaks and even when he just sits in silence. I cannot believe that this wonderful creature is mine again and that we have found a way back to each other. Again. And I always have to be honest if I don't ever want to lose him, right?

So I take a deep breath and look into Harry's beautiful emerald eyes.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" I ask as I gently pull him out of the kitchen, interrupting him cooking.

"Of course, baby," he says as he gives me a wide smile.

Poor Hazza, he has absolutely no idea about what I am going to say. I hesitate for a second but I know that I have to tell him. So I do. I tell him everything about that night and what I did to Eleanor, every single detail, hoping that my honesty makes the situation a teeny tiny bit better.

I am surprised because Harry doesn't interrupt me, he waits patiently for me to finish talking. The look on his face is a mixture of confusion, surprise and sorrow.

I stop talking and Harry stands up, not saying a word. He is not crying, which is a good sign, isn't it? A few teardrops run down my face because talking about what I did was really intense. I didn't use the word 'kill', though. Because I am not sure if Eleanor is dead. It is also possible that she didn't drink the venom that night. Oh my god, I hope she didn't.

Harry is still silently staring out the window when he gets a text. A few seconds later, he puts away his phone and turns to me.

"A friend of mine just texted," he says, his voice is quiet and weak.

I think that he is about to leave, using the message as an excuse but he doesn't go anywhere and continues talking.

"He says that she...khm. Eleanor. She committed suicide."

I close my eyes and start processing Harry's words.

"So. It means that she didn't drink the venom?" I ask.

"It's exactly what it means."

"Oh. My. God. Harry, are they sure?"

"Yeah, they're pretty sure."

I feel like I am about to faint. This is probably the most surreal experience ever. For me, at least. So I didn't kill Eleanor but she killed herself. Excuse me, what the heck?

I let out a loud sigh. Right now, I kind of feel like dancing because I am so relieved. But I know that I can't, Eleanor just died.

I look at Harry.

"So you're not going to run away from me?" I ask shyly.

"I would never run away from you. And also, I know that you'd never ever harm me."

I am so relieved that I start crying again. But I know that what I did is absolutely unforgivable.

I go closer to Harry and whisper in his ear, still crying.

" I think I have mental problems."

Harry puts his arms around my waist, pulls me closer and kisses my neck so I get goosebumps.

"I think we both do," he whispers.

I close my eyes and let myself get lost in his hug. I can feel his body shaking and this time, I can only hope that we will be alright.