They say love can drive you crazy, my dear

twenty-four

"Harry... I'm gonna call the police," I say.

He freezes and his eyes are wide open.

"No, baby, you..."

"Not today. But... I have to tell them. I mean... I can't do this anymore. I took the girl's life," I whisper.

We are in my living room, playing cards.

"Oh, baby boy," Harry says and we stop playing and just sit there, not knowing what to do or say.

I know that I'm going to leave Harry. Because I have to. So I spend as much time with him as possible, trying to remember the little moments of our relationship that are going to stay with me forever. We visit parks, the zoo and we hang out with Liam. I try not to show how desperate I am but sometimes, I just look at the two of them and feel like crying.

Poisoning Eleanor was the biggest mistake of my entire life. I would go back and save her if I could. But I can't. And I have to face the consequences. 

A few days later, I call the police and tell them everything. It is already dark outside and Harry is sitting next to me, holding my hand, trying to make me feel better. I give the police my address and hang up the phone.

Harry and I go downstairs and get in his car but we don't go anywhere. We both know that these might be our last minutes spent together and the pain that I feel in my chest is nearly unbearable. 

My wonderful boyfriend suddenly turns on Cigarette Daydreams. I guess we can call it our song now. I am listening to the lyrics and I can almost hear the broken pieces of my heart falling out of my body, wishing to stay next to Harry forever. I start sobbing with the most lovely person by my side. No matter what, he is always going to be the best thing in my fucked up life.

We are just sitting in the car, listening to our song, crying and we both know that this is going to be tough. But I have to do this so I can live the rest of my life with a clear conscience.

I hear the sirens and I know that it's the end of everything. I look into those beautiful emerald eyes one last time and see my past and my future in them. I am just hoping that I will have a chance to see them again one day. I keep staring at Harry's face and my head is full of indecisive thoughts. Not a single moment spent with this wonderful, curly boy can be replaced by anything else. I gently rock him in my arms and deep inside, I know that I will never be able to forget him. But I've made my decision.

I kiss Harry's lips one last time, trying to show him how much he means to me with this single kiss. And then, I slowly lean away, breaking both of our hearts probably for the hundredth time, open the car door and walk in the sirens' direction, leaving my love behind.