The Hidden Toxin ✔(#6 in the Our Side of The Dice Series)

Chapter 7: Weightlessness

Ebun

Ebun started to masturbate.

She just discovered that she could do that with her body. She was in a lost space where time seemed to be non-effective. There was no use waiting for anything. Not waiting didn't seem like a better choice to make either because she could not move forward.

Move forward? To where?

Nowhere seemed like a great space or place to be in. Matter of fact nowhere was. If it was not a place that allowed her to express her desires, then there was no point going there or being there.

Hence, she was in one position, one space stuck. Fighting the constant war of starving the monsters on the inside of her. Sometimes, it was hard for her to control it. She felt paranoid, hopeful for a clue somewhere so a few times, she stayed behind after closing hours at school searching, tiptoeing, ruminating. The monsters led her.

Nothing came forth. When something nearly did and she was close to knowing what it was, her brother came just in time to pick her up from school. That day again, she felt someone following her in the school premises, lurking being the pillars like a monkey dependent on trees for movement.

It was crazy yet she was intrigued but when the sound of her brother honking the car outside of the school gate distracted her and the person following her, she didn't know how to feel about that. But deep down perhaps, she was thankful because truthfully, fighting may not have been the best thing to do to whoever was following her.

She didn't have to make the same mistake twice but still, she desired to know something. Who the person was. Which was why she stayed back at school in the first place.

"Why didn't you call me or any one of us to pick you up once school lessons were over? Don't disobey the rules, Ebun, " her brother, David chastised her while he kept his attention fixed on the road ahead of him, driving home, their destination.

As Ebun sat in the car ruminating over the last thirty-three minutes, she figured that she should perhaps slow down on her mission and cut herself some slack. Looking for those demons or something that could give her a clue about them in the school premises was pointless for her.

Aside from the fact that all of her family members were keeping a close eye on her to make her every vengeful attempt abortive, or that her sisters were already doing the investigation, she was just twelve years old and it was most likely that she would lose countless times even if she were given the liberty to fight.

Why was she desperate to revenge with no precise plan in mind? The monsters in her heart demanded it and if she yielded to them, she would only make rash, stupid, and impulsive decisions. She had to use her brain. She had to lay low, she had to calm down. She had to put those monsters in her into hibernation mode for the time being.

But how could she even do that when she didn't even feel like it?

Taking her time to feel her feelings; all of the anger and resentment she felt towards everything and everyone was one thing she didn't want to do. No way would it help her move on or heal like many people recommended it would.

She wasn't very interested in becoming a better person either like her sister Demi had advised, saying that it would be the 'best of revenge.' It was shitty advice. In her view, it didn't seem like the world cared about good or accomplished people. Criminals made the world an entertaining tv show and she didn't mind becoming one. That was her truest desire.

One evening as she gazed at her naked body in the mirror, she studied every scar on her body. They were intricate, deep, detailed. She thought of grabbing a blade, a pair of scissors, or a knife to hurt herself and create some more artistic incisions on her body but she dismissed the idea.