The Hidden Toxin ✔(#6 in the Our Side of The Dice Series)

||Author's Note 1: Rise Up and Walk||

The truth only comes to you when you need it...

What does it mean to rise and walk?

One night, at eleven pm, I was in a room with some Christian girls. The room was dark. It was a remote fellowship and we were praying fervently in tongues that particular night. The holy ghost was present in the room, ready to change a life. I wasn't sure of what I was expecting from God but I just knew I needed peace because I had sinned against God earlier that day and was stricken by guilt so I prayed as whole-heartedly as I could.

Several minutes into the fellowship, one of the girls in the fellowship room tapped me gently as I was praying. She was my classmate and she was sitting next to me. When I felt her tap me, I faced her then she asked me very quietly. So quietly, that I even had trouble with trying to hear the question she was asking me.

"How high is your faith?" she asked me again and I was finally able to hear.

For a minute, I pondered before answering. Faith. I had faith. A lot of it when it came to certain aspects of my life. My writing talent is an area of my life that I believe dangerously in. I aspire to have my books become New York Times Bestsellers but asides from that aspect, did I really have faith generally?

"Umm...It's not really much b-but it depends, " I managed to answer. I didn't like that question particularly for the fact that my answer wasn't confidently positive.

The girl didn't utter a word for some minutes so I just stared, hopeful. I was always glad and expectant to hear a word from God concerning my life because whenever I heard it, they were always accurate and gave me a cause to be joyful about God's intentionality over my life but the truth was my faith and affirmations were as fickle as a feather. I was always back to doubting the next moment especially after posting or tweeting on social media about the good news I'd just gotten.

The word of God was as fickle as my emotions but one thing I failed to realize was that they weren't my emotions. I was supposed to hold on to them tightly. Emotions came and went but the word of God didn't. I didn't realize it.

"God is laying it in my heart to tell you that he has done it already. It's left to you to walk in the light of it or not, " she finally said after minutes of silence. The other Christian girls were still praying in tongues and falling under the influence of the holy spirit.

"Are you referring to my legs?" I asked.

She nodded affirmatively. "God has done it already. He's telling you to rise and walk."

It was a figurative expression because I wasn't crippled but I wanted to be able to walk like the average human being because I wasn't so I had to believe. I had to rise and walk well like God has ordained me to and this time around, I knew I had to hold on to God's word because, before that night, it had been prophesied to me three times by different people that God was going to straighten my legs.

I couldn't continue to play games with myself.

But in the quest to have faith in God concerning my legs, I desired to know how to exercise that faith. What did it mean for me to rise and walk? What did it mean to walk in the light of the fact that God has straightened my legs?

Did it mean that I had to start doing things that my legs wouldn't permit me to do medically with hopes that I wouldn't suffer the consequences? Did it mean that I could dare to stand or be on my feet for several minutes believing that my legs wouldn't burn hotter than Hades? Did it mean that I could walk around in high heels without thinking that I would fracture my ankle bones?

How was I supposed to make my faith a verb? Because I couldn't afford to keep thinking it in my mind that God has healed me knowing fully well how chaotic the mind can be as it is an open space for doubts to set in and intrusive negative thoughts that you often can't control.