Once Upon A Prostitute

CHAPTER 15 - FREEDOM OR FEAR

Journal entry
I hate being afraid. But maybe fear is a worthy price to pay for freedom.

Mina

Kite found me!

My punishment was to be gang-raped by ten hunters. They held me down and attempted to force themselves on me. I struggled with all my might, but they were too strong.

I wake up with a whimpering cry, panting, scared, and cold even though I am breaking out in sweat. It is like the temperature dropped 20 degrees. I look around. The girls were all asleep. It is still nighttime judging by the pitch-black sky outside the window. The curtains are not drawn and the blackness staring at me from the window looks scary, so I turn away from it and cover my head with the blanket.

My skin still crawls at the memory of their hands on me and the leery look on their faces. I shudder. I would kill myself before I let such fate befall me again. I won't go back like a lamb to the slaughter. I will fight. No way I'm losing this newfound freedom.

*******************

"So what are you going to do when we get out? Tetura asks.

She is seated on the bed while I sit on the floor in between her thighs as she braids my hair in simple cornrows. I just took out a weave and didn't want to make a new hairdo yet. I can always wear a wig if jobs came calling.

I mull on the question for a while. I honestly haven't thought that far out. I have been so focused on making escaping that I hadn't imagined a happily ever after. Now that I think of it, we won't be able to get good jobs. We will always walk the streets looking over our shoulders. We would be free, but we will still be afraid.

"I don't know Tet" I answer honestly.

"Is it really freedom if we can't do anything with it? We'd just be hiding and living in fear"

I bend my head backwards and look up at her. "Fear is better than bondage".

****************"********
"Fear is better than bondage" I say as I messily swipe soap lather all over my body.

So, when morning came, I hurriedly left Violet's with the excuse that I needed to get to work while other girls stayed for a breakfast treat from Violet's mom. That dream still has me scared and the caravan suddenly feels spooky. I double-checked all my windows and doors to ensure no one could come in uninvited. It's just paranoia I know, but even the creaky floorboards make this place feel spookier. I hadn't noticed until now how quiet it has become since everyone moved out.

I hurriedly get dressed and dash out. The caravan manager is leaning by his office door and calls out a greeting as I pass by. I notice he is talking to two men in security outfits. We never had security guards before. I'm guessing the restaurant requested it so their staff can feel safer. Good for them. Could the restaurant staff start moving in already? I reply him with a smile and a wave before hitting the long narrow roads that leads to my destination.

My first customer at the diner is the town sheriff. He is a regular here and I know his order before he says it - 2 donuts and a cup of takeout cappuccino coffee. At first glance, sheriff seems like a jolly good fellow with his white hair and twinkling eyes. He has a way of drawing people into conversations, makes them feel at ease and babble on while he mostly listens and laughs along. I almost fell for it, but two conversations with him and I realized how smart and sharp-witted he really is. I discovered he also had a very good memory, so I try not to be chitty chatty with him. I keep my eyes down and put on a professional stance to avoid small talk as I serve him.