Söbriety • Mötley Crüe •

12. Sneak

A/N: I am so ecstatic with how many of y'all are reading my silly story! Some of y'all are my favorite writers too which makes me anxious. 😬 thank y'all so much!! ♥️ as always, I love to hear what you think!
Prepare for spam because I finally finished editing the next few chapters.

Warnings: Mentions of Previous Drug Use; Mentions of Abuse and Rape

Ryan's POV

"So, hows your journal coming along?"

"Um, it's going. It's a lot to get through." I chuckle to break the tension of talking about the worst events in my life, but Dr. Mouse won't budge. I've been writing in my journal every night for a couple weeks now.

"We've talked a lot about your parent's death, so I want to focus on what happened after. What have you written about?"

I didn't know she wanted me to read my journal out loud. I shuffle in my seat with nervousness and bring my fingers to my mouth to bite my nails like I've done my entire life. My fingers are basically nubs.

"You don't need to read it out loud, Ryan, calm down." She reads my mind and I breathe out a sigh of relief. "But we have to talk about the stuff that's in there. You have to work through it or you'll just end up back where you started."

I nod through a groan.

"I went through a lot of fosters homes, schools, towns, and 'families.'" I make air quotes around families. "And some of them weren't so nice, I guess."

"Care to elaborate?"

Do I care to elaborate? She wouldn't know the difference if I left some stuff out. What good is it gonna do me to throw a pity party anyway?

"None of them liked me, I was just there for the monthly check and the hopes of getting my parents restaurant money. All of them yelled at me, berated me, some of them hit me." I look to the clock hoping our time is almost up, but to my dismay we still have thirty minutes.

"Why did they hit you?"

Good question.

"I didn't do my chores, I talked back, that sort of thing." I keep biting my nails.

"That must've been pretty hard to go from a loving family to temporary families that don't want you."

"Yeah, it was. I never made any friends, because I moved around so much. I mean, I kind of had friends when I was a teenager, but not anyone that I could confide in, that I felt comfortable with."

"You definitely have some abandonment issues, which is completely normal for your situation. It would be weird if you didn't have any issues." She smiles. "I think that's why you clung onto Kelsey so hard. She was the first person you could be yourself around, that gave you a place to call home."

"Yeah, exactly." My heart wrenches.

"I'm so proud of you for getting out of that situation. A lot of people don't, they just stay and continue to be miserable or worse, keep turning to drugs and die." I nod and look at the floor.

"What else?"

"Nothing. That's it." I stare at her blankly and I know she doesn't fall for my bullshit.

She puts her pad of paper to the side and sits up in her seat, folding her hands together and looking at me deeply.

She can tell you're hiding something. Keep it together, Ryan.

"What else?" She repeats.

Tears begin to pool in my eyes, and I know I won't get away with half assed explanations anymore. I shake my head 'no' as the tears fall from my face to my cheeks.