Jennie Kim Is Not Gay || jenlisa

Chapter Forty-six

Lisa walks into school unsure of exactly what it is she's going to say. On the one hand things should be easy and simple, the air between she and Jennie should have cleared, but on the other hand there still seems to be so many unsaid things. Because how on earth can Lisa go back to just being Jennie's friend when she knows exactly how she feels.

Rosé raises an eyebrow when Lisa walks into school.

"Something's up."

Lisa hates the fact that Rosé can always tell when something is wrong, hates the fact that it's impossible for her to hide her secrets. Hates that somehow, she doesn't mind.

"It's nothing."

"Bullshit."

"I don't want to talk about it?"

It comes out as more of a question than a statement because when has that ever really dissuaded someone from questioning you anyway.

It seems to work though.

"Fine," Rosé says, shrugging her shoulders, "just know that I'll be here whenever you decide that you want to."

"Thanks."

"What are best friends for?"

Not for secret kisses, Lisa thinks to herself, not for regretted 'I love you's. She doesn't voice any of that aloud though; instead she offers Rosé a warm smile, a genuine one.

"Buying me chocolate?"

"In your dreams."

The two settle into silence after that. It's not uncomfortable or tense; it's just a sign of how strong their friendship really is. The two of them don't need words to pass the time, they're content to go about their own business, just knowing that the other one is beside them. Once again Lisa is reminded of just how lucky she is to have ended up with Roseanne Park as a best friend.

Lisa can't breathe when Jennie walks into the room. It's not surprising that she looks good today, a plaid shirt tucked in a pair of high wasted jeans clinging to her legs. Lisa tries not to let her gaze linger, tries not to make it too obvious.

But she figures it must be. Because surely it's clear in the way a small smile slips onto her face at the sight of Jennie. Surely it's clear in the way her breath hitches, her palms sweat and Lisa has no idea where to look. Surely everyone must know.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

The words echo through Lisa's mind sending reverberations wherever they go. And it's all Lisa can think, and all Lisa can hear and it's everything she regrets saying.

Somehow, impossibly, Rosé doesn't seem to have realised though.

"You okay mate?" Rosé asks.

Jennie smiles, Lisa notices that the other girl never looks her way, that she seems intent on keeping her gaze averted from where Lisa is sat.

"I'm good."

"Great."

That's the end of conversation and Lisa knows that it's her turn, that she's supposed to fill the lull but she can't. She's afraid to open her mouth in case the words come spilling out again.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Friends. Lisa reminds herself. That's all the two of you are supposed to be. That's all Jennie promised.

"Hey," the word feels thick in Lisa's throat but she manages to get it out none the less.

"Hey."