Jennie Kim Is Not Gay || jenlisa

Chapter Thirty-three

The silence surrounding the table has lasted too long for it to be anywhere near comfortable. After Nancy's apology, Lisa can't find the right words to say. She knows what her mother would say, that she should be polite and accept it but Lisa can't bring herself to do that. Why does Nancy deserve her forgiveness? Especially when Lisa has spend the past year convinced that Nancy was right about everything, has spend the past year telling herself that she was absolutely worthless.

"Thank you for your apology," Lisa eventually musters up the courage to say, "I don't accept it, but thank you."

Lisa watches as shock crosses Nancy's face. Lisa presumes that Nancy had expected this to be easy. That she'd apologise, Lisa would accept it and then the two of them could move on but Lisa is too hurt to go along with that, can't pretend that sorry is even beginning to make up for any of it.

"Okay..." Nancy says, "fair enough I suppose."

Quietness descends once again and Lisa finds herself ripping her cupcake wrapper into lots of tiny little pieces. She's restless, uncomfortable and Lisa truly wants nothing more than to get out of there, get the hell away from Nancy. She doesn't want to be rude though and so she tries to find a topic of conversation.

"You still run?" Lisa asks.

She doesn't really care but it's something to say.

"Yeah."

Silence once again. Lisa looks up at Nancy to see if Nancy is finding this just as uncomfortable as she is only to find Nancy looking right back at her. The two of them both let out nervous laughter before both of their gazes flicker away.

"You still play video games?"

"Of course."

"And I can see you're still dying your hair."

"I actually haven't in a while; the blonde's starting to fade so I'm due a change."

"What are you changing too?"

Lisa doesn't think that Nancy really wants to know but it's conversation none the less and so Lisa agrees to go along with it.

"Black I think."

"How come?"

"Someone told me it'd bring out the colour of my eyes."

Lisa can't stop the blush that stains her cheeks as thoughts of Jennie come rushing back to her. She tries to banish any memories of last night, of kisses and arguments and everything slowly falling apart.

"New girlfriend?" Nancy asks.

Lisa can't help but let out a snort of laughter.

"Friend," Lisa corrects before thinking about it, "well sort of... I don't really know anymore."

"Sounds complicated."

"My life never seems to be anything else."

"So this friend... am I allowed to know more?"

"There's not much to tell."

"I've got a feeling that's not quite the case."

"And why should I tell you?" Lisa asks, bite unintentionally coating her question. "I mean you don't seem to be a great role model for successful friendships, you called me a friend once after all."

Nancy winces as if Lisa has wounded her and Lisa resists the urge to reach across the table and slap her. If Nancy thinks that hurts then she should try being on the receiving end of the chaos she caused.

"I deserved that," Nancy admits, "just thought you might like an outside opinion."

"I think I'm fine."