Secret To Be Kept

Chapter 7 - I can't anymore!

"Mum" Cried Charlotte

The room filled with silent as if it wasn't already silent, it was almost as if a black hole had swallowed up the whole family plus JJ in seconds. Emily didn't know what to do, she has just been exposed to everyone who mattered to her. She didn't mind Aaron knowing because he was the one who found her 4 years ago after a hard case that affected Emily more than she will ever say.

Aaron on the other hand was scared, he has almost lost Emily before and that ripped him apart. Now he just found out that he has a 24-year-old daughter with Emily and that the love of his life is cutting again. He was definitely scared shit less. Not knowing what to do but scared Emily would retreat into herself again, he quickly grabbed Emily and took her back to their room away from Charlotte and JJ so she could truly open up.

Leaving JJ and Charlotte in the room still in the same spot staring at the spot where once Emily and Aaron stood.

"JJ" Charlotte quietly whispered, finally snapping out of it and turning her attention to JJ. She didn't know what to think about first; Emily cutting, Aaron and Emily? Or how naturally she just called Emily mum like she had calling mum for the last 24 years.

"Oh Lottie" was all JJ could say before getting up to pull the young girl into a hug, also unsure of what the fuck just happened.

Emily POV

I know that I shouldn't have cut again but I did, and I finally felt some control when I did it. I still remember that case the almost led to my death 4 years ago, Aaron found lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of my own blood.

"Emily, I love you please talk to me" I couldn't, I didn't know where to start and Aaron was just sitting there waiting.

"I ... I needed the control" I whispered; I knew Aaron would understand.

"Em, I know you feel like you have no control over your life at the moment and that's okay. But when it gets to this, you need to talk about and let me help you get the control back okay. I love you too much" I don't know how Aaron always knew what to say to me.

Aaron POV

Fuck I was terrified, Emily told me what the problem was.

Control

Control over Charlotte, me finding out about her, the baby and probably a million other things she had probably planned out, but all went out the window this past week.

I decided that Emily just needed someone to be there with her and to hold her close. I quickly got up, grabbed my phone texting JJ 'Emily is staying with me tonight, and can you ask Charlotte if Emily and I could get breakfast with her tomorrow please'

I knew that to help Emily is to keep the still little control she has about the whole Charlotte situation and that is only JJ and I knew the truth about Charlotte and for the rest of them Emily can decide on how to tell the team, that is her control.

I climb into bed; Emily was already laying down staring at the ceiling so I just pulled her into a tight hug till I could feel her steady breathing.

The next morning.

Emily had woken up quite early, truthfully, she hadn't really slept, only maybe a couple hours. She just laid in Aaron's arms all night till the little bit of sun started shining through the windows.

She had been lying there thinking about everything that had happened, mostly to do with her and Aaron fight yesterday and how stupid both have been about the topic. She knew the Aaron doesn't really think she had an abortion it's was just a sensitive subject.

Aaron had also not really slept that night and he knew Emily didn't, at one point in the night he wasn't asleep but had his eyes closed and he could feel Emily just staring at him. Aaron didn't know what to think of everything, a lot had happened in the last 24 hours, no normal person would be able to comprehend it all.

"Aaron" Emily whispered now aware he was awake at 5am in the morning after a night of misunderstanding.

"Hey, how are you feeling today?" Aaron asked, over their extremely different relationship the pair have always known when one another isn't okay. With this both knew when one had something on their mind and needed to vent.

"Scared, I guess" Emily paused "She called me mum last night, even after everything I couldn't get her saying mum out of my head. Every time I close my eyes it's just her saying mum over and over again and I don't know if it scares me or it brings me comfort Aaron" Emily had moved and now was laying on Aaron's chest looking up at him as she spoke.

"Can you describe all the feeling you felt when Lottie called you mum?" Aaron asked, this way Emily could work out her feelings and come to understand them before he tells her about breakfast with Lottie. "I guess I had a feeling of warmth or satisfaction, like I've waited since the day she was born to be called mum and after 24 years it finally happened. Then I feel guilty because I could have been called mum for the last 24 years and you could have been dad, but I made the decision to not allow for that. And then I also feel complete, like I have Charlotte back and you know about her so she not some secret I have to kept from you anymore. We have our little family even though it's extremely unconventional. What do you feel?" Emily asked back after explaining her feelings to Aaron.

"I feel humble, because even though I didn't know about Lottie for the 24 years she has been alive. I know about her now and now I have a daughter and I can be there for her when she needs me and same for you, but I also can protect her too. However, I'm scared that I won't be able to protect for from everything, that maybe one day she'll get hurt or injured and it will be my fault for not being a good enough father. But Emily I'm grateful. I'm grateful because at the end of the day I have my daughter, she is alive and here with us. To me that's all that matters at the moment. Just one more thing because this needs to be said, I know you miscarried the baby and I'm sorry that I ever said otherwise. I know you, fuck Em I've known you for 25 years, so I'm sorry babe. I shouldn't have ever said something like that"

"I know babe, and I'm sorry too. You know for not telling you about Lottie and all" Emily joked.

"Oh, hey I almost forgot but I asked Lottie out for breakfast with the two of us, if you're feeling up to it?"

"I guess we should all really sit down and talk about the big elephant in the room."