Phoenix Fire

13 - The Blackcap Sings

KAENA

"So, when's your meeting with Uther?" Merlin asked; a bundle of Arthur's clothes to be washed in his hands.

"In about two hours." I said as I walked down the corridor. 

"Are you nervous?" 

"No." I lied. I was very nervous. I had seen Uther about in the few days I'd been up and walking, but I'd avoided talking to him as much as possible. My stomach still hurt, especially if I moved too much, and I had to be careful with myself. It would take me a while to do anything really active and I was itching to exercise. The moment I'd be able to start training again I'd be out with the knights to show them how it was done. 

"Are you sure?" Merlin was pushing my buttons a little bit now.

"Merlin will you please stop asking?" I pleaded, turning the corner to where my new chambers were.

"She's shitting herself." Hild seemed to pop up out of nowhere; she did that a lot. You didn't even notice when she was with you sometimes she could be so silent. I guessed it was just instinct - she had a history of stealing things and had been used by her mercenary group as a spy.

"If I were," I opened the door to my chambers, "you two would not be making it any better." 

"Yeah Mer-lin." Hild said, sticking her tongue out at him. "Lay off her."

"God you're such a child." I moaned closing my door in their faces. I just wanted to be calm, on my own, with my thoughts. But of course I could never have that with Hild around.

The door burst open and Hild exclaimed, "Did you just shut this in my face?!" 

"Fuck off!" I yelled and threw a pillow from my head. She sidestepped, dodging it, and it flew out of my doorway hitting someone going past with an 'oomph'.

Arthur popped his head around my doorway with my pillow in his hand. "What was that?" He demanded.

"Sorry sire I was just- Hild was-" I gestured wildly at the girl. She stood there going very red. 

"Well Hild?" He asked.

"I-I," She stammered. Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Sorry!" She squeaked and ran off.

"Sorry about her, I don't know what's up with." I apologised, taking my pillow back from Arthur and placing it on my bed.

"You do have quite a good throwing arm I have to say." Arthur admitted, stepping into my room. It was a good size, with a view into the courtyard and a desk to one corner. I hadn't had time to do much to it yet but I wasn't a great one for decoration.

"Yeah, sorry about that, you must have been busy sire." I mumbled looking down.

"I came to talk to you actually." He pulled the seat from the desk and sat down in it.

"You did?" 

"I think I know what my father wants you to do. For a job I mean. It would be a shame to waste your talents." He said.

I rolled my eyes. "Arthur I am a woman." 

He nodded. "I can see that, and yes it does limit what kind of jobs we can give you. You can't really be any official role, can't be a guard, definitely can't be a knight even if he had known your uh," he coughed, "real heritage."

"Exactly," I replied, "there is a distinct lack of options available to me."

He smiled faintly. "You know you've become a lot more..." 

"I've become a lot more what?" Hostility was undercutting my words, I knew, but everything was getting on my nerves that day.

"Funnier. Open. Comfortable, I'd say."