The secret between us (Levi X Reader)

Chapter 4

    When we finally got to the research site I was greeted by 2 dead titans. I kept wondering to myself why would they kill them? Why were they in the way of something? All the voices in my head were getting out of control.

I watched as Hange screamed and cried in front of the dead titans. Eren was standing just watching them steam off. Erwin walked up to him and whispered something deep into his ear. He whispered and walked right off.

"Hey Eren you good?" I Nudged him on the arm. He looked a little zoned out so I gave him time to come up with a answer.

" Yea I'm fine y/n, thank you for asking." He stared at the ground still a little shocked. He was a little more shocked when I touched him for some odd reason. I ignored this feeling and walked out of the research site. The screaming and crying was annoying me.

I stood there and watched Levi come out. "Hey Levi!" I waved my hands for him to come over. Some reason I did feel bad for him. He started to walk towards me.

"Hey y/n, I have a question do you plan on joining the scouts?" Levi questioned me. I was pretty sure Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt was joining the scouts so that means I have too.

"Yes I am planning on joining the scouts Levi." His eyes widened at my response. He gave me a little smile opened his mouth again, "Well y/n we would get to see each other more." He said this a little more coldly to me. I didn't know how to respond since I knew deep down he was hurting in a way. After that kiss I can't get him out of my damn head.

I had to make up some excuse, "Levi I'm sorry about yesterday. I just don't know if I could have a relationship with everything going on in my life right now." His eyes widened a little at my response. He looked me in the eyes and says coldly, "I understand y/n. Tell me when you are ready." He walked away after this response. I was standing there with my face all warm.

Eren walked over to me and questions, "What was that all about?" He asks me this while he points over to Levi I shush him away, "Just shut up Eren for once!" I realized what I just said, "Eren sorry you just scared me for a second." He nods and walks away. He probably thinks I am crazy.

+++Time skip when you get to pick+++
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    I was standing next to Annie when Erwin was asking for people to stay if they wanted to join the scouts. Most people started to walk away like babies. The blond girl started to whimper when she stood there in place. The girl Ymir spoke up to her, "If you are going to act like a baby then leave." The blond girl nodded and calmed down.

Erwin was talking about some key and a celler, but I zoned out since I have been all over the place for the passed couple of days. The secrets were killing me. I don't know how the others were so cool with it. We stood there until eyebrows was done talking. Finally we got to stay with the scouts.

We got to learn about titans and Erwins strategies. We got to learn about his set ups and plans. This was important for us to learn so since we can attack them when they least expect it. They started talking how they were making a plan to get to the celler of the secrets.

Once we were done Reiner grabbed my arm and pulled me outside. He finally let go when were far enough to talk alone, "We are going to attack them on the way. They can't know what is in that basement Y/n" I nodded and took a deep breath in since we were actually going to be hurting people. I couldn't worry about that.

"Which one of us will attack them?" He looked at me and smiled. He opened his mouth again, "Y/n, you and Annie will attack. You can prove yourself." My eyes widened at his response. I felt a shiver go up my spine. I never really killed someone when I was control of myself. Annie was cold blooded so this should be easy for her. I don't think she actually has a heart to be honest.

I finally found Annie and pulled her off to the side to talk to her. "Annie are we actually going through with this plan?!" She just stared right through my soul. She pushed me away from her.

"If you can't handle this easy mission then go back to Marley. We have to do this. If you can't then leave" She walked away and I realized I was being selfish. I need to ignore my feelings and go full cold blooded like Annie for this stupid mission. I was too nervous. The mission was going to be in a couple of days. I honestly didn't want anyone to get hurt since I trained and developed friendships with some of them.

+++Later That Night+++
    I walked outside again to get some cold air. I needed to calm myself down. I haven't used my titan ability in a while. I was too stuck in my head tonight. I sat on the ground looking at the stars until someone walked out and stared at me. Of course it was Levi Staring at me. I opened my mouth, "We really need to stop meeting like this." I gave him a bright smile and paddle the ground to sit with me. He nodded and sat right next to me. We were pretty close. My face started to heat up a little.

"So are you excited for your first mission y/n?" My whole body freezes when he asks me this.

"Not really Levi." He looked at my in the eyes and grabbed my hand. Are fingers were locked into each others. We sat there until I pushed my lips against his. It was a deep and passionate kiss. We finally got some breath and kissed again. I felt happy for once. We finally stopped.

"Y/n trust me nothing will happen to you on this mission. I will protect you." I smiled and let out a small chuckle. I hated lying to him at this point. It was going to be me to kill and ruin the scouts mission. I ignored all of it and pushed it deep down.
"Hey you should get some sleep." I looked at him and he kissed me on the forehead and walked away. I lied down on the ground and stared at the stars. I felt free sitting here.

I was happy, I was happy. Those words kept repeating in my head over and over again. I was happy I finally had my first happy kiss.
>Flashback<
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"Reiner what did you mean when you said 'you loved me'?" He looked at me and came over to cup my checks and kiss me. I didn't know how this would work. It felt nice. He finally took his lips off mine and spoke, "Y/n I always loved you and will Continue to love you no matter what." I was speechless at this response. I liked Reiner but not in this kind of way. We were always just best friends.

I removed his hands off my face, "Reiner I like you a lot, but I dont love you in that way." I took a deep breath, "we should just stay friends. We could talk about this more when we get to Marley." I gave him a quick smile. He looked happy, but deep down he was hurt by my words.

"Y/n and I will wait until the day we get back." I smiled at his response. At the time I thought he was going to be my true love. Since he was the only man who has showed me kindness and saw me for me. Not just my titan ability.
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<Flashback over>
When I look at the memories now, I realized how easy I was fooled. I was also stupid to think I could Love Reiner. I thought all my life we could be like that. After the kiss Levi and I just had I want Levi and not Reiner. Levi sees me for me and doesn't know I am a monster deep down. He sees me as a human. He loves me for me... Reiner still loves me though. I dont love him anymore in that way. What will happen when Levi finds out I am a Monster? I can be exposed anytime now. I can be exposed when Annie and I carry out this crazy mission. I really don't want to hurt Levi. I'm not going to hurt any of the Levi squad members since that will hurt him too. I'm not going to be near Levi during this mission. He should be fine.
I really hope this mission goes the way I want it to go.

A/n: Hope you enjoyed! I will be updating again soon so dont worry!
Word count:1555