SHEOL

6

It was around two in the morning on December 22nd. I was still awake, watching infomercials and sketching pictures of the people on television. My mother had already forced me to help her fuel her addiction. She became very hostile if I didn't, almost acting like an animal. She would throw a tantrum and threaten to kill me if I didn't prepare heroin and methamphetamine  for her. I was afraid at first, but it got more annoying than anything else later on. 

She was finally asleep though. Finally. She was higher than the sky that night, on heroin and methamphetamine. For those who are unaware, heroin definitely relaxes the body but, meth heightens sexual arousal. My mother was usually very open about proving that...

She normally didn't care about who heard or who was home. She usually did it in her room but sadly, I've caught her pleasuring herself on the couch more times than I'd care to remember. She was very loud too, so loud that sometimes our neighbors would bang on the outside of our trailer, begging her to stop. I'll have to admit, my mothers moans sounded like a dying cow. I guess I now understand why my father left her.

I began to doze off around 2:30 am. It was really hard to be engaged in a commercial about blenders. I finally decided that it would probably be best to just crawl over to my corner and go to sleep.

I wasn't asleep for more than a half hour when a loud sound awoken me. Hazily, I got up, rubbing my eyes and trying to listen for it again. Sure enough, an irritating knocking rang through my ears once more. “Who the hell would be wanting us at this time of night?” I asked myself. I stood up shakily and trudged to the door.

“October!” A gnarly hiss beckoned from behind me.

I quickly turned around. In the darkness, I could barely make out a shadowy figure leaning against my mothers doorway. “Mother?”

She hobbled towards me, clutching the dark walls. “Don't open the door.”

The knock grew louder. “Open up! We know you're in there, Miss Haas!”

My mothers cold eyes stared at me. They were lifeless, no gleam, no sparkle. She had accepted her fate when they first came rapping at our chamber door. “October, grab all of your things and get the fuck out of here. They'll take you away from me if you don't. We've talked about this, remember? The plan?”

That's right. The plan. It was hazy in my head; we had only went over it once all the way through, but that's all I ever needed. I was always to have a backpack full of all of my belongings; she told me to leave nothing behind. I was then told to go to my mothers' room and lock the door.

When we had first purchased the trailer, well, traded the Buick for it, the owner told us about a secret compartment he made. It was about the size of a bathtub, under the floorboards. It was like a cellar, except for the fact that it was located under my mothers bed and housed valuables; not potatoes and wine.

I gave her a hard hug, knowing that that was the last time that I was ever going to see her again. “Momma,” I whispered in her fragile ear. I hadn't called her momma since I was six. “This is the last time I'm going to see you, isn't it?”

She held me in her frail little arms. “Yes, honey.” She was choking back tears.

“Well, I just wanted to tell you; thank you for keeping me safe all of these years. This life hasn't been a white picket fence, it's been more like a barbed wire gate. But dammit, I wouldn't trade it for the world.” I let go and kissed her tear-glossed cheek.

I then ran to my corner and grabbed my backpack, which luckily was filled with everything I needed, or so I thought, and then ran past my mother into her room. Just before I locked the door, I whispered a solemn phrase that I wasn't sure that she could hear. At this point, I think she did hear it because she turned around slowly and flashed me that toothless smile one last time. “I love you.”