" Anything I want is what your mom said and so here is what I do want"
I can almost hear Shawns eyes rolling in his sockets but fuck him, what he said yesterday hurt me and I'm about to make him pay... quite literally
"I want a new mattress, extra thick memory foam, anti allergenic, extra support for my back. And new sheets, Egyptian cotton bed sheets, nothing less than 600 thread count"
"Why the fuck does it matter where the cotton's from?!"
"I don't know but if they are good enough for J-Lo they are good enough for me"
I sit at the breakfast table and stick my chin defiantly into the air as Shawn begins to chew on his lips in frustration and inside I'm throwing myself a victory party
"And clothes! I need clothes you need to take me clothes shopping"
"No way. You will be recognised in seconds"
"Well that's what you get for kidnapping one, if not the biggest female superstars in the whole, entire world"
I begin to peel a banana and then slide it into my mouth suggestively, just for shits and giggles and to see if I can get a reaction from him and true enough as it slides in and then back out I see his eyes become fixed on my mouth
"You like that?" I ask before repeating the movement a few more times and just as his Adam's apple bobs up and down as he gulps I bring my teeth down hard on the fruit, biting it in half and he hisses loudly
"That's what happens to idiots that kidnap and then insult me!"
"Fuck you!" He seethes and then turns to leave as excitement and pride bubble hot in my stomach
"Shopping! Or I will tell your mommy on you"
"Fuck. You!" Are his last words before I hear the door to our pool house slam shut and I take a sip of my coffee and finish off my banana wondering how much fun I can have during my time in captivity because Shawn has just officially become my new play thing.
********************
"I have Camila Cabello, I am holding her hostage until you pay the 10 million dollars ransom"
I try not to laugh as Niall lowers his voice and tries to sound scary and succeeds at sounding as scary as a pussy car
"No I don't want to be put through to personnel I want to talk to the person at the top, the person that makes the decisions, the king pin, the man with the moolah"
His cheeks pinken and I can hear someone chastising him on the other end of the line
"Yes m'am I realise that in this day and age the King pin could be a female, yes m'am, why thank you very much but no it's Southern Ireland not Northern, no it's an easy mistake to make it happens all the time..."
"Niall!" I slap his shoulder and he suddenly seems to become aware of what he's actually supposed to be talking about
"So who do I talk to about a 5 foot nothing mouthy princess I need rid of? No it's not a joke! We stole her from Madison Square... hello? Hello?!"
He slams the phone down
"That's the third attempt at a ransom demand and the third effing hangup!!!"
"Well you did make it sound more like a comedy routine that an actual kidnapping"
"So what do we do now? We're gonna end up stuck with her Shawn I can see it, no one wants her back"
"Well I guess we do what we should have done from the start, we call the media directly, send them pictures as proof. Get prepared Niall my friend because this shit is about to go global"
*A mini chapter just to move the story on
*thankyou for 2k reads of this silliness
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Diva (Complete)
Fanfiction"She doesn't like the car" "She doesn't like my car?" "She doesn't like the colour of your car " "What the fuck's wrong with the colour of my car?!" "I don't know but the dog was so offended it couldn't bare to listen, she had to cover its little fl...
