Trip To California {Jaty/Krody}

Chapter 4- "oh"

NOTE: Brody was supposed to write this. But he didn't. I did. 

shame on you, brody *does that weird shame motion thingy* 

kat writing in brody's pov bc dont wanan break the cycle ok continue now :3 

"YOU FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG," I say, for about the goddamn fiftith time today. "Do you not understand the term 'busy'?" 

"BRODY, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAN THE VAN, NOT FUCK KAT," Jared shouts angrily. 

"Pensies don't just go flat in two seconds," I mutter.

"WELL NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. BUT YOU AND KAT CAN WAIT, CAN"T YOU, I MEAN GODDAMIT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOUR YEARS AND STILL PROBABLY NOT GONNA GET ANY!" I roll my eyes.

"It doesn't work like that, you fag," I say. "The penis needs to have some sort of stimulation when it's f-"

"I KNOW THE SCIENCE, AND NEXT TIME I WANT YOU TO ACTUALLY HELP THE REST OF US BE SAFE FROM BIG NOSE REINDEER!" Jared says, storming off. Sort of.

"Why the caking hell are you so caking loud?" Katy wonders aloud, walking outside of the van. She and Kat had been sleeping on the mattress. Yes, THAT mattress. 

"Oh, hi Katy!" Jared grins. I roll my eyes.

"He's pissed I didn't man the wheel when he wanted to fight off Big Nose," I tell Katy as she hugs the shit out of Jared.

"Well you should have," she says. Jared leans down to kiss her forehead, hugging her back. I sigh.

"Whatever, you don't understand the science of penises," I mutter, walking off to get Kat. It was about nine in the afternoon, it was time for her to get up. We're currently somewhere in Arkansas. About a quarter way there, to Cali. Least we shouldn't have to deal with Big Nose Reindeer for a while.

"Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat," I whisper, gently shaking my girlfriend. "Kat?" 

"Go away," she mumbles, rolling over. 

"Kat, you gotta get up," I say.

"No," she grumbles, picking up the pillow and putting it on top of her head.

"We gotta ease on down the road!" 

"Ease on down the sleepy road," she replies. "Really, go away."

"I'm not going away," I say.

"Go away, I want to sleeeeeeeeeeeep," she whines.

"Nope. We gotta ease on down the road, ease on down the road, ea-"

"Stop singing."

"WE GOTTA EASE ON DOWN THE ROAD!" 

"GOD DAMMIT, WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SLEEP?" She shouts, springing up into a sitting position quickly. She accidentlly knocks her head into mine. She frowns. 

"Ow," she says quietly, rubbing her forehead. 

"Good job," I chuckle. She frowns, once more. 

"You dick," she says, laying back down. "Go away now."

"Mmm... No."

"You hurt my head so yes, go."

"I'm sorry!" I cry, laying down next to her. "Forgive me?"

"If you let me sleep," she offers.

"Fat chance," I scoff. 

"Then no," she grins, turning away from me.

"Oh, come here," I say, pulling her closer to me. "Jared's going to go jack-shit crazy on me for letting you sleep in, you know."

"Do I care?" she asks.

"Yes?" 

"That was a rhetorical question, and no, I don't. I would like to fUCKING SLEEP PLEASE GOD," she says.

"You can sleep if you come here and cuddle with me," I say.

"Fine," she mutters, settling into my embrace. "You're lucky I love you, otherwise I'd be super pissed at you."

"Well, yes, I am lucky to have you," I chuckle. 

"Wooooooooooooooooow, you don't even say you love me back," she says, mocking a heartbroken voice, with the tiniest bit of sarcasm. 

"Don't go there with me," I say. "I wouldn't stay up all night ma-"

"BRODY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING KAT UP!" Katy says, walking into the van. 

"I was," I say.

"THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE WAKING KAT UP."

"I'm awake, aren't I?" she asks, rolling her eyes. "Why do you people never let me sleep?"

"Because when you're supposed to be sleeping you're up all night with Brody fu-" 

"That's enough, Jared," I cut Jared off as he follows Katy into the van.

"IT'S LUCIFER TO YOU, FAGGOT."

I roll my eyes. "That's enough, Lucifer," I repeat. 

"Now c'mon, let's get a move on. We are low on food. And condoms," Jar- Lucifer tells us. 

"I wonder why...." Katy mutters.

"YOU GUYS ARE DICKS."