Give it to Me

20. Respect

✯NAMJOON✯

Namjoon's eyes and thoughts were lost in the flames of the fire burning the chimney, facing him in his office.
He liked watching logs burning, being consumed to ashes with the passing of time, as the flames of the fire grew weaker and colder each passing minute.
He could summon a magic fire, a perpetual flame, burning up in that space.
But he liked natural fire. He liked the fragility of it all.

Your words stuck to him as he watched the log disintegrate in a slow burn.
'You're just a man.'

It was rare of him to be reminded of that.
You weren't wrong.
He was aware of his nature: he wasn't worth more or less than any other life form - even the Prodigy was a mere mortal.
He simply forgot, from time to time.

'You're just a man.'
Your words resonated in his mind, again.

He was just a man, of course, he'd eventually be blinded, caught up in the persona of the Prodigy.
A god-like wizard.
A super-human.
Someone's who’s abilities were, at present, un-matched.
He was aware of his own skills, which greatly surpassed his mentors, his professors, and even some of the most famous Wizards - alive and dead alike.

He didn't even remember when it started, exactly... but at some point, in his life, he stopped being Namjoon, and became the Prodigy.
And what a thrill that was - for a muggle-born orphan, who grew up, alone, in the streets of Seoul - to suddenly become the center of attention.
Everyone adored him. His professors, his friends, classmates... the Prodigy was loved by all.
Famous Wizards around the world came to meet him, to test his skills, only to be beaten by the young man.
Becoming Headmaster wasn't something he dreamed of, in his youth.
He rather had simpler, smaller expectations: going back to Seoul, travelling, pursuing muggle studies - which he also accomplished, eventually.
When the opportunity came around, he took it, though not entirely for himself.
'Why not, after all?'
He remembered those words crossing his mind when he accepted to partake in the examination that would lead to being Headmaster.

The Prodigy would be a better role model for the young wizards coming in Mahoutokoro than some old, close-minded wizard.
And he was glad he had been there for them, and he still was glad to be there now.
... but this was the Prodigy speaking.

What did 'Namjoon' want? In between all that, everything else happened - none of it planned.
So Namjoon didn't really have time to bloom in what could have been himself - his real self.
Seokjin coming forth about his pureblood heritage, the need to conceal the bow, the unbreakable promise they shared... He didn't regret any of it. But he often wondered where his life would be, had all that not been a part of it.
Yoongi and Seokjin were his two best friends.
He had others, surely - but none with which he shared his true self...
Or at least, none with whom he felt close with as the authentic 'Namjoon'.

Yoongi and Seokjin kept him grounded. Yoongi was simple: he said what was on his mind, he was clear, analytical, and didn't hesitate to call out Namjoon's bullshit - even when they were younger.
Seokjin was loud, funny, intense - but underneath all that, Namjoon had always sensed Seokjin needed to be loved, he had an unbearable, invisible weight on his shoulders. So Namjoon did the best thing he could do, as a real friend: he lifted part of the weight away from Seokjin - and Yoongi followed, the trio being inseparable.

Concealing the bow and sharing an unbreakable promise with each other ensured its safety, but more so, it ensured Seokjin would never be bothered by it, again.
Seokjin could be freed from that responsibility.
He should have been.
Nobody but the three and Seokjin's family should have known about the very existence of the artifact... The accident, Seok-jun's attack...
Namjoon was glad they had concealed the bow before any of it happened.
He couldn't even imagine what could have been, had Seok-jun wielded the bow. He was sure, in his bones, that Seok-jun had died that night. He burned.