Give it to Me

27. Fake Love

✯JUNGKOOK✯
 
 
Jungkook watched as the guests kept eating, drinking, and dancing around the Great Hall of Durmstrang. The school was stern, but it had a certain charm to it, he couldn't deny he actually enjoyed the atmosphere of the school grounds. From the outside, Durmstrang was stone cold, somber, mysterious. Once inside, however, it was inviting, mellow, filled with history. It somewhat reminded him of you.  He sat alone, sipping on red wine, observing the bottom of his glass, stained by the carmine liquid. A few minutes ago, he watched you leave the hall. He wanted to follow you immediately. But as you left, Yoongi got up and headed out as well. He knew it was to find you. 
He didn't want to intrude. After all, he had given you up, for Yoongi... though that didn't stop the storm in Jungkook's heart.

He never thought you could be that important to him, yet, here you were, constantly inhabiting his thoughts. When you met, all those years ago, it was fun, it was simple - exactly what he needed, what he wanted. No ties, no worries, no feelings. Just genuine attraction, sex, and no questions about his past, his love life, his dreams and aspirations. In that moment, he was wounded. Still recovering from Yoongi and their torn relationship. He suspected it must have been the same for you, as you never bothered to inquire on anything about him – contrary to the other women he fucked with, on occasions. You must have been on a similar path of recovery, though he didn’t know what and who wounded you exactly. 

That’s what he initially liked most about you, and what pushed him away from all the others. 
They asked too many questions, wanted more than he was willing to give; they bothered him incessantly for his time and thoughts. He fucked them once, and moved on. You, however, kept popping up, here and there, in his life. His encounters with you weren’t all that regular, nor were they ever planned... but the more you met, the more he found things that attracted him even more. 

He couldn't pin point when, exactly, you began haunting him…   All these encounters slowly began feeling like destiny. Why were you always there? Why did he have to keep running into you, of all people? Each time you met and parted ways, he found himself silently praying you would call, ask for more, inquire on his life. He wanted you to become a part of it, in whichever way. When he found you in Mahoutokoro, knowing you would be there for a while... it felt like all those encounters were meant to lead you to one another. He was ecstatic to see you, almost every day. He learned so many things, found you even funnier, kinder, sexier, more stubborn and intense than ever before. 
Finding out your involvement with Yoongi couldn't stop the tide, already in motion, in his heart.

Yoongi was his everything. The only constant feeling he ever had in his life.  His mentor, his closest friend, the person he shared the most beautiful memories with. Yoongi was Jungkook's first love, the one person he let in his heart before you even begun chipping at it, slowly, day by day.
He loved Yoongi more than he loved himself. That was a certainty. He wanted to be there, for him, at all times; he wanted his love, in its entirety... but Yoongi wouldn't give it to him. 
Yoongi needed to be in control, yet, he didn't want to do so with him. He refused to let Jungkook love him, properly. He said it was to protect their hearts, but especially Jungkook's, that precious little thing. 

Jungkook felt like such a fucking coward. At the time, he listened. He let Yoongi separate them, stop their love before it became un-controllable. He was too afraid of what they might have become, how much Yoongi could have taken over every single second of his life. Admittedly, part of him feared just how much his mentor meant to him. Ready for anything, Jungkook was ready to lose himself entirely out of love. Yoongi didn’t let him. So, he obeyed.  He freed Yoongi from his love, just as Yoongi had done with him.  

Melancholically, he watched from afar how lonely Yoongi's life had become - how both their lives were. Just sex. Meaningless encounters, one after the other, games to win. It was all a fucking game to Yoongi. He watched Yoongi play, win, and remain bittersweet about each trophy. Nobody stuck to his side, nobody played along; Jungkook would have, had Yoongi let him.