[CONTAINS SMUT!] ❗️18+❗️
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Being the youngest Holmes was always quite the journey, especially when you didn't want to show off your talents, maybe even lack of such. Compared to your brothers you were always the 'dumb' one. The teachers saw it, yo...
There was a deafening silence at dinner as everyone ate. Sherlock sat across from Moriarty with John at his side. You were across from John with your mother next to you, Mycroft across from her as your father sat at the end of the table.
"So, Jim," your father starts. "Any hobbies?"
"Yes, actually,"
"Killing isn't a hobby,"
"Sherlock," You growl. "Shut the fuck up,"
"Y/n, watch your mouth," Mr Holmes notes.
"But he- Fine!" You slump back as Jim placed an assuring hand on yours under the table.
"No, I don't like getting my hands dirty," Moriarty murmurs, "I do enjoy baking, Y/n taught me after she got tired of me asking for her cookies,"
"Of course, that's my recipe," Mrs Holmes smirk. "Does he put my baking to shame?"
"Impossible," you scoff and pass her some mashed potatoes.
"And degrees? Any at all?" your mother asks.
"Well I have 4 masters around the physics and chemistry, and a PHD in Mathematics,"
"Then a few more PHD's in murder and mass destruction," Sherlock quips again making Moriarty clench his jaw. "Should we add terrorism, Arson, kidnapping and Robbery?"
"Stop it, Sherlock," you stand up as he copies.
"Why? I'm just stating everything he's done! Are we going to forget he kidnapped and hurt you?!"
"What?!" Your parents stand up suddenly as Jim sighed out in annoyance.
"You really are naive, aren't you??" You scoff as he raises a brow challengingly. "I let him! I wanted him to!" You scream out. "How in the hell was I going to meet up with him without you controlling me like a damn puppet?!"
"He is a psychopath! He's trying to kill us all!" Sherlock slams his fist down against the table, plates clattering and cutlery clashing. "You really are an idiot for thinking he loves you," your brother snarls as your lips fell open.
Looking to your side, Jim was gone with the front door open wide. Raising a finger trying to find something to say back, you turn and run out the door. "Jim,"
There he was, snow falling on his Navy suit. You always loved how he looked in it, especially against the snow. Each feathered flake fell on his shoulder, a soft smoke falling from his lips, not from the cool air but the cigarette between his two fingers.
"Jim, I'm sorry about Sherlock," you walk through the inch of snow, each crunch under your boot filling the silence and fading Christmas music from the house.
"He's right, you know," ash coated the dirt snow by his shoes. Sharply inhaling the drug, he flicked it to the ground and crushed it under his weight.
"Right? Jim, don't be silly, he's stupid and protective," for once in your life, he flinched from your touch. Retracting your hand hesitantly, his laugh was sour with hints of disbelief. "Darling, he doesn't know that you stopped doing that, that you stopped doing all those bad things, that you're helping the goodside from behind the scenes,"
"It doesn't matter, this was-... this is never going to work, Y/n," Ice pale hands pocketed into his trouser, his head looking to the dark road. "This will never work,"
"Don't say that, Jim," you stood your ground, unable to make a move in case you crossed a line and scared him away.
"Say what? The truth?" He laughed mockingly. "You're so naive- I'm so naive for thinking we could ever be something,"
"Something? Don't you love me? You said you-"
"Stop it-"
"Jim, please don't," you grab his coat slung over the cobblestone fence, holding it tight, gesturing for him to follow, "let's go inside and talk-"
"Stop it,"
"Jim,"
"STOP IT!" He bellowed, your figure jumping back at the rise in volume. "Just shut up, don't say anything more,"
"Don't you tell me to shut up, James, I am going to stand here until you realize-"
"No, you will shut up, not one more word," he run his pressed digits over his mouth. "Got it?"
"No, I don't get it! Because two hours ago we were dancing together, you said you love me- that you'd love me forever, what changed?!"
"Nothing changed, I just realised how stupid this is, how stupid I am to think I could ever love because that's the thing..." A car drove up from the distance as he chuckles. "I can't love... and I certainly can't love you,"
"Can't or won't?" Your voice trembled as he took a breath. "Can't or won't, Jim??"
"Don't. I don't love you,"
Seb stepped out the car, opening the door for Jim who slipped in. "Seb, please don't let him go," you plead to the blonde who kept his stoic face. "Seb, pl- Jim, please!" You start to pick up a walk to the car as it drove off, your feet halting after a few meters.
This felt worse than anything before, your body dropping to the dirt ground. Your fingers curled into the fabric, clutching it against your chest as each hot stream burned your skin.
"Please," you whisper out, leaning your face down to meet the scent of his cologne further breaking any intact piece of your heart. Your sobs rung out through the deserted plane of nothing but pure mother nature.
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