new girl (tommyinnit x reader)

chapter 8

T.W - this chapter contains abusive topics. there will be warnings before and after so you can skip if you would like :)

it's been over a month since that friday. at this point i couldn't tell. 

i couldn't sleep. the constant panic attacks would get too much. when i finally got to sleep the nightmares from my past came back.

T.W     flashback

"you actually thought i loved you?" he said slowly with a small vile chuckle. his hands were grasped around your neck, as your lips were an inch away from touching. 

i couldn't breath.

"no-one will ever love a worthless piece of shit like you"

you felt a burning hot tear leave your eye, and roll down your cheek. all he did was laugh.

"did i hurt your feelings, you fucking whore?" he sneered. 

he lifted up your chin, then came close to your right ear and whispered. "good," his hot breath stung against your neck, "keep crying."

his scent was intoxicating. the smell traveled down your lungs making you want to hurl.

"those tears are mine. you hear me? those tears are for me, only me. you. are. mine."

"i can't breath." you murmured. his grasp only got tighter.

a sickening smirk crept across his face, "what did you say?" 

"get off me." you tried to say. your face burned a hot red. you starting to feel light headed.

then, there was nothing.

T.W over      end of flashback

i told alexis about everything. everything from my past, everything about him. i trusted her alot and she understood. i wanted to tell tom. but i didn't want to scare him off. plus, i couldn't bring myself to talk to him. 

i tried to distance myself from him. i wasn't mad. as much as i wanted to be. i couldn't. i was upset. 

i felt bad for ignoring his texts. it felt good deep down someone cared about me that much. 

i was mostly mad at myself though. sure i was over reacting but it's better than pretending every things okay when it clearly isn't. right? i knew i was being dramatic. but it hurt. alot. it hurt he would keep something that big from me. did he not trust me?

being alone made me think alot. i wondered if he could lie about something that huge, what else could he be lying to me about? i was pretty ill aswell, nonetheless i didn't want to see  him.

alongside all of this, i'm in trouble with school for not showing up for nearly two months. on top of that, moneys running out meaning i can't afford food and i am really far behind on rent.

i'm such a mess. i chuckle to myself and get up to feed henry. it was pitch black outside.

to my surprise, a knock came from the door. it was past midnight which was unusual. non the less i answered.

"tom?"

a/n - 29.03.21

491 words