Insecure. M.P

Chapter 4

Why are they starting?

Previous on chapter 3: Y/n " Mattia -aaa stop. Im fr jus-ssst stop." I said with a serious tone, while getting of his grip. And after that I just walked away before he could say anything.
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Y/N POV:
And I just walked to class.

Skip to lunch....
Kaitie" HEY HEY Y/N"
"Ofg Kaitie don't shout the whole school can hear us" I said
Kaitie" yeh yeh sorry but can I sit with you on the lunch?"
Y/N" yeh why not, you are my friend now"

Kaitie " ok, let's just sit here" she said while pointing at the table beside Mattia and his popular friends table

Y/n " ehh idk"
Kaitie" commmm onnnnnn" she said while interrupting me
Y/n " yea yea why not"
I said. But inside I wanted to kill myself. FUCK. Mattia literally just kissed my neck, and NOW I GOT TO SIT BESIDES HIS TABLEL
JUST FUCK ME ALLREDY

Me and Katie were just talking about random stuff when I felt eyes on me. But I didn't care... until Kaitie whispered to me
"Hey y/n yk the table beside us, there is a guy. He is starting at you. Like he want to eat you alive or sum shit"

Y/n " wait tf" I said while turning around. And then I se him...
Kaitie was right, and let's just say if looks could kill I would be dead right now. I looked at him right in his eyes there was lust,anger it looked like he wanted to se me suffer, but in a good way yk😋.
I guess he was just mad that I didn't fuck him lol.

Kaitie " heyyy y/n hellloooi did u die or sum" she said while shaking me

Fack, how long have I been starting at him.

Y/n " Kaitie I think we should go to are classes now" I said while pushing her up and talking her to class

Kaitie "But but"

Y/n "no buts, now come"

Skip to after school...
Y/n POV:
I talked to Katie a little and then I just walked home.
Y/n " he... ello somone home" I said while my voice was shaking.
No answer YESS it my dad isn't home.
I ran up to my room and just cried I didn't know why tho.

I just got this wave with feelings and depression. I just cried and cried. I decided to go in toilet and smoke.
I smoked like 3 times and got high but it didn't worke. I was still in pain and crying

I looked myself in the mirror and just thought to myself:

Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I've cried in my room when nobody was watching. Nobody knows how many times I have lost hope, how manny times I've been let down. Nobody knows how many times I've feel like I'm about to snap, but I don't, for the sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head when I'm sad, how horrible they truly are.

Nobody.Knows.Me

I have kept so much pain inside myself.

And the only way for that to go away is if a cut myself. I was still just looking at myself in the mirror. When from no where I just break it, I punched the mirror.

It feel into a million pieces , like me. I picked up one pice and without even hesitation I just dragged it on my arm. I felt the pain. It hurted, but it helped, it helped me.

And after that I just feel to the bathroom floor crying and cutting myself......
Then I blacked out.

Mattias POV after school:
I was just talking to the boys and drived home.
I was horny when I got home, and I was only horny for her...

I didn't know why tho. But today when she bumped into me and she had that attitude, it was just HOT fuck and then were on the lockers.
The more I think about it the more Hornier I get.

After thinking about her for like 1'hour I just ft the boys and played video games with them.

HEYY Idk if I should do more of this story, Idk if you guys like it but I'm still trying to do my best and I'm trying to post everything day:)