"alright i'm coming" i let out a frustrated sigh as i sat up.
"what happened?" isaiah asked as he sat up yawning.
"peep" i told him as he shook his head. "again?" he asked letting out a sigh as i nodded my head making my way out of bed.
this past week has been something else. i got to meet amethyst and that was a fun time. we talked everything out and she even said i could sleep over at her house at times just to be with isaiah. i was honestly glad i got to talk to her and meet her, we really talked things out. i had also been hanging out with nariyah anytime the guys went to the studio or were busy. she was fun to be around and we often just sat in my room watching anything we could.
although i had fun this week it was also horrible, now was an example. peep was sober for sometime but went back to doing drugs. i knew something was wrong when jah told me he hadn't came home and i was right. ever since that day he's been out just getting fucked up and showing up at gabe's house who always ends up calling me to go get him. sometimes it even happens twice a day and it hurts me. it hurts to see the person i loved turn into a person i didn't even recognize anymore. before this week peep never even raised his voice at me. now it seems like that's all he does, which he later regrets and cries to me about it.
i got in my car and drove to gabe's place with tears already going down my face. as much as i tried to stop them i couldn't, today just hurt so much more than the other days. the closer i got to gabe's house the more i tried to calm myself down. i parked out front of his house and texted him letting know i was out front. his door opened and i saw peep come out walking towards my car. he opened my door and sat down and closed the door. i looked at him as the tears threatened to fall again. i started the car as i quietly drove to his favorite place. we arrived to the spot and i got out and peep followed after me. he walked over to his favorite place to sit as i slowly made my way to sit next to him.
"angel" he gave me a goofy smile as i looked down "i missed you" he tried to hug me but i backed up out of his reach. a frown formed on his face as he tried again which resulted in me backing up more "what's wrong?" he asked. i closed my eyes trying to stop the tears from falling. nothing hurt me more than to see him like this and it seemed as if he didn't care. "come on" he tried to grab my hand but i pulled it back "it's me, peep" he laughed as he reached for my hand again which i pulled back again. "come on angel" i heard his voice crack as he tried again "what's wrong?"
"i can't" i said as the tears started fallin again "as much as i want to be here for you, i can't" my heart hurt saying those words out loud. "you don't understand how much this hurts me, but i can't do this anymore" i wiped the tears away but it was no use as they kept falling "peep" my voice cracked "please don't be mad at me" i begged him as he looked back over at me. "you have to understand where i'm coming from, it's so draining. i love you so much and you know that, you know that so fucking well. you don't remember peep?" i asked him as my heart broke "you don't remember when you told me you've never felt so loved until you met me, or when you told me you could never be mad at me and you'd love me forever?" i cried as he rolled his eyes causing my heart to break even more. "you don't remember?" i asked him as he shook his head letting out a small laugh.
"you're giving up on me?" he asked as he let a scoff out as he shook his head. i bit my lip as i looked at his face filled with hurt. he shook his head again and turned the other way.
"you're not listening to me" i said causing him to turn back and look at me "i want to be here for you but i can't anymore. i've tried so hard this week but its so exhausting, so fucking exhausting. it breaks my heart to see you like this, i don't even recognize you anymore and it hurts. what happened to the peep that would stay up with me for hours and hours as we talked?"
