isaiah's pov
"fuckin text her" jah threw my phone at me.
"i can't" i let out a sigh as i put the phone to the side of me.
"yes you fuckin can, and you are. she's like my fuckin sister, my twin, and it fuckin hurts seeing her so sad. as weird as it fuckin sounds, i can feel her sadness. her voice sounds so hurt and sad whenever i call her. she's beatin herself up for all of this, she thinks she did something wrong. peep said all she does is ask what she did wrong, izzy. do you know how fucked up that is? do you know fucked up you're being? you did what you did, and you don't gotta tell her. shit i don't even know what happened, but that's not my business. go talk to her, or at least text her" jah said as he sat next to me.
to baby a
from (unknown number)
(random number)
i'm fuckin sorry, angel. alright? i'm fuckin sorry. i didn't mean to just leave u like that. i was gonna come back 2 days after i left, but i felt embarrassed. i did some shit i can't tell u. i wish i could but i can't. it's not something i'm proud of or wanna talk about. hope u understand that. i'm so fuckin sorry, angel. i don't know how to make it up to you, but please just tell me. you've been down for me since day fuckin one and ion wanna lose you. all this time apart has been fuckin me up so bad. i suck at this love shit but u made it feel so easy. i hold you down like a lock, throw away the key to your lock. i fuckin love you, angel. i'm fuckin sorry. i'm back in florida so if you wanna talk this shit out, i'm back.
from baby a
we can meet up at 8
(random number)
we can meet at (random address)
i showed jah the messages and he smiled. all i could do was look at the time on my phone. it was 6:30 right now, and the spot was 10 minutes from where i'm staying at.
as the time went to 8 i got more and more nervous. it hit 7:15 and i walked over to jah who was outside. he looked up at me smiling as i sat down in the chair next to him. he inhaled the smoke from the cigarette and then blew it out.
"what's up?" he asked.
"i have to leave her" i told him straight up.
"what?" he asked sitting up.
"i can't be with her anymore. all i do is bring her down and shit. i can't do her like that. she doesn't wanna admit it but i know i'm bringin her down" i looked up at him.
jah had his head in his hands as he was shaking his head. i took the cigarette from him and i inhaled the smoke. i fuckin hate cigarettes. i watched blue run around the backyard.
"i'm gonna give blue away" i told him.
"no the fuck you're not" jah looked at me like i was stupid "that's fuckin angel's dog. you got the dog for her and now you're just gonna take blue away? go give blue to angel, she's already sad enough. let her have blue"
"c'mon blue" i called blue over as she ran with her tongue out "let's go" i picked her up.
"isaiah i swear if you fuckin give away blue you're out, dawg. i don't care. you can come pack your shit and then you're out" he grabbed my arm "let me fuckin have blue"
"i'm gonna give her to this one girl that said she liked blue" i shrugged him off as i walked inside the house.
7:42. i put on my shoes and went to my car with blue. jah was following after me telling me not to give blue away as i ignored him.
"izzy i'm fuckin serious" he yelled as he walked towards the car.
i just started the car and drove off. blue sat on my lap as i was petting her. i assumed she was asleep because she wasn't moving as much as she usually does. as soon as i got to the girls house i got out of the car not turning off the car.
"hey" she smiled as i walked to her.
"here" i gave her blue as she looked surprised "you can have her"
"wait w-" before she could finish i walked away and back into my car.
i drove to the spot where i told angel we were gonna meet. when i got there i saw she was in her car. her head was down and it looked like she was texting someone. eventually i finally got the courage and got out of my car putting the keys in my pocket.
*after their conversation*
i got out of angel's car and immediately got into mine. my heart fucking hurt like it never has. i've gone through some fucked up shit, but this shit feels like the worst one. the way she cried and cried was something i couldn't get out of my head.
"fuck" i yelled as i hit my steering wheel then sped off.
at this point i didn't care if i crashed or not, maybe that was best. i couldn't stay with jah anymore, so i had to stay somewhere else. i just have to get my bag from his place, luckily i never unpacked my shit.
"you fuckin gave blue away" ski yelled as soon as i pulled up.
i walked by him ignoring him. i walked to where i had my bag and picked it up. fuck. my charger. i grabbed my charger and before i could leave ski stood infront of me.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" he asked "why the fuck have you been acting so different lately?"
i shrugged my shoulders as i tried to walk past him. ski stood in my way as i rolled my eyes. what the fuck is up with everybody and not wanting to let me go.
"yo ski fuckin move" i mumbled as i tried to walked past him again.
"don't fuckin come to us if you ever need anything" he mumbled as he moved out of my way.
i walked to my car and drove off to the one place i knew i could go. as soon as i pulled up i let a sigh out. i turned my car off and got out with my bag in my hand. i knocked on the door and they opened it.
"what're you doing here?" they asked hugging me.
"can i stay here for some time?" i asked as i pulled away from the hug.
"for as long as you need"
i smiled as i walked inside. i sat on the couch and let a sigh out. my whole life is goin to shit and i brought this upon myself. i want everyone to hate me so fucking bad, and i don't know why. maybe if everyone hates me i'll be fine. i just need to be away from everybody.
i fucked up what i had with angel. i fucked up my friendship with ski and jah. i fuckin gave away blue, the last thing that made me happy. my hand went to my neck and i felt the necklace. my heart dropped as i held it. this is the last thing i have left that has to do with angel.
i tucked it into my shirt and closed my eyes leaning my head back. my head started to hurt and the pain in my heart increased as i felt my eyes get watery.
"pussy" i mumbled to myself.
minutes went by and it all went away. i felt no pain. i felt nothing. it was as if a switch went off and all the pain i ever felt just went away. i felt numb.
a small smile formed on my face. i felt someone touch my leg and i opened my eyes.
"hey yazmine" i smiled.
"hey izzy" she smiled pulling my zipper down "you look kinda stressed"
"mmhmm" i mumbled as she began to suck me off.
that was the start of my night with yazmine. it felt like old times when we were just friends. it was just full of us fucking.
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so...
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