The Hateful Heavy Heart | 18+

26 - Real Life

The next morning, I allowed Ruggiero to open his gifts privately. The next day, he was also granted a day to himself. Time with Ruggiero often felt natural and comfortable, but on Christmas weekend, I was unable to stomach getting out of bed. Exhaustion had taken over my body, along with an incessant migraine.

Still, I regretted not being there as he opened his gifts. I was proud of what I got them, as I felt—and knew, from the sensual thank-you kiss he'd given me after—that they were fitting gifts for him. Along with the fígaro chain, I made him a basket of goodies. It seemed we thought alike, as I also got him something for the bedroom: a pair of silk boxers that would wrap his package perfectly in his favorite color, cerulean blue. I wanted to have something for all the things I loved about him. I might have gone a little overboard filling the basket.

I didn't hesitate to slide in a sleek, black and gold chronographic watch with a beautiful museum dial and a leather band that would wrap nicely around his wrist, showcasing the veins running along his arms and his hands; a pair of microsuede slippers to replace his old ones, wanting him to have something new and comfortable, as I knew loved how hardworking he was; a coffee mug customized to caricatures of us, done beautifully so to portray a woman with my hair and eye color, and a man with characteristics to one matched Ruggiero's, with 'Our Family' in black cursive underneath them to express how much I loved us together; and lastly, a new automotive toolset, as I loved how much he loved his craft and saw that his current one was starting to rust.

Ruggiero was a highly attentive partner. While I urged him that I'd be just fine and that it would be all right if he went into the shop, he chose to stay by my side the whole weekend. "Besides," he'd said, "it is Christmas weekend. I am not the only mechanic in the world."

I wish it felt like a lovely holiday weekend. I didn't realize that Christmas would mean that I would feel terrible the entire weekend. Ruggiero assured me that, "no, it's because it's Christmas weekend and you're pregnant that you feel terrible." Which, I admitted, he had a point there, but I didn't need the reminder.

It was hard to forget that there was life growing inside of me and that from the day of conception, my decisions every day would impact their growth.

That following Tuesday, Ruggiero and I sat in the office of Dr. Mary Anne Smith, an OBGYN recommended to me by several women at Glendshire. He sat in the wooden chair beside the bed I lay on, holding my hand as we listened to her speak as completed my ultrasound.

"Congratulations, you two. There's a heartbeat." The cold jelly gliding across my skin, along with the news, made my breath hitch. Ruggiero squeezed my hand for reassurance. "So far, Jace, you're in your first trimester, about ten weeks along. You have four more weeks before you're in your second trimester. I don't know if you've been feeling your little one yet, but they'll be making their presence very known soon."

She was a tall, slender woman, auburn hair pulled into a low ponytail. Her brown eyes, while matured, seemed kind.

"Have you been taking any prenatals?" she inquired.

After an exhale, I shook my head. "Shamefully, I haven't. I've still been trying to wrap my head around this whole pregnancy thing."

She took the transducer off of my stomach momentary and set it closely by on the paper sheet. She picked up the clipboard, her manicured fingers gripping the pen as she wrote something on her paper. "That's all right. Better late than never, Jace. It's alright to feel a little nervous. I understand how it can be scary."

"I must admit," Ruggiero spoke, "I'm a little nervous, too, Dr. Smith. Being a parent is very important work."

"It sure is, but as long as you're doing what it takes to keep your little one healthy and well, all should be fine. Good nutrition, low stress," she sympathized with a head nod in agreement. "I'd estimate your due date being around June seventeenth, given that concept was toward the end of October. I'm going to write you a prescription for prenatals, as well as some iron to keep things in check. Do you have a preference over tablets or gels?"