The Hateful Heavy Heart | 18+

03 - Tuesday

Sex remained a part of my routine. It wasn't really intentional. I didn't mean to have one too many drinks of gin. But Tuesday was a rough day and it wasn't getting better. It started fine, but by five o'clock, it had turned into one of the worst days I'd had in a while.

I went into work Tuesday morning in high spirits. The night before, I reconnected with Ruggiero and he had shown me just how good he was with his hands. On top of that, we had scheduled a dinner date at Quintavi's for Wednesday. Tuesday started as a fantastic day.

It didn't begin to spiral downhill until I received a call from Garret, in which he claimed he still had feelings for me. That wasn't so bad, though. All I did was wave him off, after mentioning the fact that he was engaged. I didn't have time for that.

What really ruined my day was going to tend to Cleo after a wave of other patients, only to find that she had fallen ill with pneumonia. I had told her that it was a bad idea to go mingle with her best friend, Theresa, yesterday, who had initially fallen ill with pneumonia. After hearing her constantly beg me to help her into her wheelchair so that she could go visit her, I directed her toward Theresa's room. As a result of that, Cleo was now under the weather and her already weak immune system was working extraordinarily hard to fight it off.

I was sick with worry and exhaustion. I needed a drink.

After clocking out and going home to clean up quickly, I did what I did best and took a trip to the shitty bar less than five minutes from my apartment. It wasn't like the bar I went to the night before. It wasn't nearly fun, but it worked. I only wanted to drink away the day's stress. That was all I wanted to do.

I didn't anticipate ending the night in a random redhead's bed. She had nice breasts and a cute, firm ass. Her areolas were slightly large, but I thought it added to her charm. I also didn't mind much how thorough she was as she pleasured me with her mouth and her fingers. However, ending the night with a stranger wasn't in the original plans, especially when I had a date scheduled with Ruggiero.

I could blame it on the gin. For the most of the night, I did blame it on the gin. Gin wasn't normally my choice of poison because I always made bad decisions when I drank it, but tonight just happened to be one of those nights. I didn't blame the gin as the night continued.

Truth being, I liked sex and I liked almost every type of sex. That was equally true when it came to having sex with women. I didn't mind letting a woman be the reason for me panting and on the edge of release. Even in the moment, I couldn't stop thinking of Ruggerio.

I was brought back into the moment as I felt my teetering relief approach and the gin's numbing effects wear off. The moment was real. The moment was happening. As guilty as I felt, I couldn't go back and say no to the girl's request to have a bit of fun in her bed. If I remembered to, I would be sure to tell Ruggiero of the experience. I'd feel worse if I didn't.

I gripped the sheets and closed my eyes as the pad of her finger circled my clit and two fingers continued to pump inside of me. "You're so fucking beautiful," she breathed. I felt the wetness of her tongue as it met my skin and I resisted the urge to writhe underneath her hold.

The night wasn't bad. She wasn't bad. The oral wasn't bad. However, what was bad was that all I could think of was Ruggiero as I let go and that was made known as I moaned his name.

To say it was awkward would be an understatement. 

❁

I was ashamed of myself for Tuesday. There were other coping mechanisms and I chose one of the worst ones to cope with my minor problems. Cleo would get over her pneumonia and my father's nose would be alright. I could have done a million other things besides getting wasted and humiliating some girl.